Posted on 07/22/2019 10:01:47 AM PDT by rightwingintelligentsia
A British woman says she has several love interests, but none of them can hold a candle to Lumiere — a 91-year-old chandelier she plans to marry, according to a report.
Amanda Liberty, 35, who changed her last name from Whittaker during a prior long-distance relationship with the Statue of Liberty, is ready to finally settle down with the light of her life, the Mirror reports.
Liberty, of Leeds, who identifies as an objectum sexual, is putting the spotlight on the little-known attraction to inanimate objects, according to the outlet.
The bride-to-be said she has been in an open relationship with multiple light fixtures, but decided to get hitched to Lumiere, which she regards as female.
She acknowledges that she can’t marry her suspended sweetie in the traditional sense, but insists that her love is valid.
“I’m determined to have this commitment ceremony, to prove that I’m here for Lumiere and that my love is going to last,” she said.
“I restore the chandeliers in my spare time so they can continue to interest people as they like to be the center of attention. That’s what they like and it’s the energy I get from them,” Liberty continued.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Just wait till she tries to French kiss it. Shocking.
GUILTY!
The Babylon Bee can’t hold a candle to this!
It isn’t a monogamous relationship. Your Buick has been cheating on you with me.
Soon to be a Disney movie?
At least she isn’t ensnaring some unsuspecting guy into her insane world so there is that. Trying to find the bright side of this.
She calls it a “her,” does that mean instead of a closet lesbian, she’s a ceiling lesbian?
Keep in mind, you are reading a news piece written about her. She’s not reading about you.
Living proof of what some “feminists” used to say, “if there were no men, the world would be full of fat, happy, lesbians...”
Be Our Guest!
She could do worse
Guess she will get to screw in a lot of light bulbs.
Does this mean I can marry my truck?
Hey, this isn’t all bad: if we have a photo of this person, we’ll have a new picture in the slang dictionary for “Batshit crazy.”
But, as previously mentioned, it is a virtual guarantee that this individual despises Trump. Trump should be happy, though, because who you are in life depends not just on who considers themselves to be your friend or admirer, but also on who is your enemy. This is definitely someone good to have in the latter category.
“She calls it a “her,” does that mean instead of a closet lesbian, she’s a ceiling lesbian?”
Maybe one or both is AC/DC.
If I had to identify as an Objectum Sexual, I’d marry a B2 bomber and keep a lambo on the side. ;)
I expect an invitation.
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights...but this takes the cake.
You have won the internet for the day.
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