Posted on 12/03/2018 5:50:00 PM PST by proud American in Canada
Hi everyone. I need a bit of help. I've had a serious drinking problem for a very long time. My husband doesn't drink. But he does hit me. I guess he feels entitled to since I'm the one who causes all the problems apparently. I'm up in bed I haven't had any food for dinner. I need doesn't even want me to come down he shakes me he hits me; I'm supposed to go to rehab on Wednesday for 3 months. Not really looking forward to it. I just wondered if anyone had any advice I'm really at a loss here I just want to move back to the States my son is 23 he lives here without paying anything. Our daughter lives in Montreal and just going to school. And apparently I'm supposed to pay everything from what my dad left when he died. I could tell you one thing... If my father were alive you would kick my husband a**.
I spent thousands of US Dollars going to see him 5 * when he was dying I wish everyday that I could call him. I wanted to just send a card. To GW. It doesn't matter how old your parent is, it's still very tough.
Anyway I need advice please? I would really appreciate it I know a lot of women have gone through this and I just want to know how you survived
Call 911 and tell them of the abuse. Ask the cops to take you to the nearest hospital for detox and you should be ready for rehab Wednesday. Pray. This is very serious life or death advice. I di high conflict family law for over 35 years and have had to sit through detox and intervention with friends and close relatives more times than I want to think about. Call 911.
Prayers for you. Go to rehab and when you come out don’t go back to your abuser. God bless you!
That’s the worst advice in the world. Are you trying to kill the woman? Alcohol withdrawal kills if not treated properly. I knew a guy who died on his 12th day of serving a 30 day sentence for DUI hit and run (no injuries; hit a parked car).
Yes, she does need to quit, but not cold turkey. They will handle that in rehab.
As I recall this has been going on for a while. Are you sure you really want to change your life? You can do it if you decide not to be the victim anymore but you have to make that choice.
Ignore all the idiots on this thread who are telling you to go cold turkey. Have the police take you to a hospital for detox now.
I do this for a living.
Detox and Rehab now.
Domestic Violence information next.
I assure you moving will not work until you address your own issues, Geographic cures are short lasting because the issues that you have follow you until you finish them.
One of them sounds like the grief you have for your departed father.
This is not a short path but it is a fruitful one.
Get ye to AA and find a sponsor. Go every day for at least ninety days.
Shut your mouth and listen while there.
Blessing upon you.
You can stay ay my place. But, BYOB.
Best we can do for u from afar —- do get off the booze! Your health and well- bring is Job One. You can’t expect to dolce everything at once - especially problems involving other people.But you can start solving everything by fixing your own self — get off the damned booze. It weakens you and can destroy people’s entire lives. So if the rehab is any good - be happy you can do it! Second point, you May have a problem or two, but you don’t deserve to be beaten up by a man. I can understand a guy can get frustrated but it’s still inexcusable to beat up a woman imho. Two issues with that —- 1/ if your personal safety is in danger, it has to stop for sure - or you have to absent yourself from that danger at least until he appears to have gotten himself under control. So if your rehab is done place you’re going away to - that’s a good thing maybe. Husband needs to get himself repaired just like you are gonna do for yourself in dropping the booze. He MUST stop beating on you! Probably some professional help can assist him, please look around and see what’s available for him. He might say NO at first but many such men do understand inside themselves that this needs correcting - and he might eventually go for the help. Meanwhile keep in mind that you don’t deserve to be beaten up and obviously try to avoid such incidents as much as possible. Best,
Best we can do for u from afar —- do get off the booze! Your health and well- bring is Job One. You can’t expect to dolce everything at once - especially problems involving other people.But you can start solving everything by fixing your own self — get off the damned booze. It weakens you and can destroy people’s entire lives. So if the rehab is any good - be happy you can do it! Second point, you May have a problem or two, but you don’t deserve to be beaten up by a man. I can understand a guy can get frustrated but it’s still inexcusable to beat up a woman imho. Two issues with that —- 1/ if your personal safety is in danger, it has to stop for sure - or you have to absent yourself from that danger at least until he appears to have gotten himself under control. So if your rehab is done place you’re going away to - that’s a good thing maybe. Husband needs to get himself repaired just like you are gonna do for yourself in dropping the booze. He MUST stop beating on you! Probably some professional help can assist him, please look around and see what’s available for him. He might say NO at first but many such men do understand inside themselves that this needs correcting - and he might eventually go for the help. Meanwhile keep in mind that you don’t deserve to be beaten up and obviously try to avoid such incidents as much as possible. Best,
Best we can do for u from afar —- do get off the booze! Your health and well- bring is Job One. You can’t expect to dolce everything at once - especially problems involving other people.But you can start solving everything by fixing your own self — get off the damned booze. It weakens you and can destroy people’s entire lives. So if the rehab is any good - be happy you can do it! Second point, you May have a problem or two, but you don’t deserve to be beaten up by a man. I can understand a guy can get frustrated but it’s still inexcusable to beat up a woman imho. Two issues with that —- 1/ if your personal safety is in danger, it has to stop for sure - or you have to absent yourself from that danger at least until he appears to have gotten himself under control. So if your rehab is done place you’re going away to - that’s a good thing maybe. Husband needs to get himself repaired just like you are gonna do for yourself in dropping the booze. He MUST stop beating on you! Probably some professional help can assist him, please look around and see what’s available for him. He might say NO at first but many such men do understand inside themselves that this needs correcting - and he might eventually go for the help. Meanwhile keep in mind that you don’t deserve to be beaten up and obviously try to avoid such incidents as much as possible. Best,
Download and read “This Naked Mind.” When you finish the book you’re wonder what happened and how it worked. I referred this to several people I know and it has worked with everybody including two people that were severe alcoholic’s. At the end everybody has the same question, what the hell just happened?
Contact the US Embassy for help.
I would add that often priests, ministers, pastors, rabbis know how to find some useful help , programs, services, I’d definitely ask a few clerics of your choice
If you really want to quit, get yourself to an AA meeting tomorrow, and then follow what the program has to offer. It won’t be easy.
Different things helped my ex get off alcohol.
Got rid of all of it
Took low dose lithium orotate available without a prescription online - helps against some cravings
No eating sweets or fruits or baked goods (no sugar, low carbs)
Drinking good coffee every time he wanted a drink (for many months he had 6-10 cups a day)
It worked for him because he refused to do AA. AA works well for plenty of people too.
Good luck. Don’t let yourself be abused. Try to connect with eye contact with your husband and change your interactions between each other until you are sober enough to get out. Pray and attempt to have your soul meet his soul and no more fighting. No more right vs wrong, just “let’s not fight.” Refuse to rise to his taunts, if that is what he’s doing. Stop yourself from responding with anger, or even responding at all.
If he hurts you again you should get to safety AND ONLY THEN call the police and have him arrested. Don’t be afraid of financial situations. It will all work out if you believe it.
we’re you??? idiot
I have no other solutions for you other than to pray for your recovery.
Stop drinking.
He has to sleep sometime. Kick his ass.
I will pray for you. I hope you go to rehab and do the work you need to do to be sober and to stay sober. Address the physical abuse with your husband in counseling while you are there because you will be safe there for the next 3 months. Address your grief while there also.
It’s been 18 months since my mother went to be with Christ (dad went before her) and it has been much harder than I expected, partly because you can’t go home anymore and partly because it really underscores your own mortality.
Please take care of yourself and know that you are worthy of love. If you don’t know Jesus, please make an effort at meeting Him. He will show you how to have peace and joy amid life’s up and downs.
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