So a lonely guy was telling his friend how he went to the beach to meet some women and nobody paid him any attention.
The friend advised him to put a potato down his bathing suit next time and see what happens.
So, following up, the friend asks him how he made out with the potato in his suit. The guy says it was even worse - people laughed at him and ran in the other direction.
So the friend, not understanding, asked, “You had that reaction with the potato down the front of your suit?”
The guy responded with, “Oh! The FRONT?”
Sorry. A little rude, but it made me laugh when I heard it.
Hillary Clinton isn’t taking the loss very well. So I said to her, Cheer up! At least you won’t have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under!
Yea...A real turd.
The same guy went to a Halloween party, naked, with the aforesaid potato on a string, that was tied around his waist. When asked what the heck he was supposed to be, he replied “A dictator!”
Farmer asks his wife what she wants for her birthday.
She says now that the kids are all gone, I’d like to have a face lift.
He says you got it and takes her to the best plastic surgeon in Atlanta who tells them it will cost $20,000.
Farmer asks if they have one not as expensive.
Doctor says, “We have one for $500 where I insert a dial on the back of your wife’s neck. Once a month you crank the dial one notch only and it will pull up the skin that sags around her neck.”
After the surgery the farmer cranks the dial one notch DAILY instead of monthly. After six months he calls the doctor.
“Doctor, we have a problem. The crank won’t turn any more, and my wife has grown a goatee.”