Farmer asks his wife what she wants for her birthday.
She says now that the kids are all gone, I’d like to have a face lift.
He says you got it and takes her to the best plastic surgeon in Atlanta who tells them it will cost $20,000.
Farmer asks if they have one not as expensive.
Doctor says, “We have one for $500 where I insert a dial on the back of your wife’s neck. Once a month you crank the dial one notch only and it will pull up the skin that sags around her neck.”
After the surgery the farmer cranks the dial one notch DAILY instead of monthly. After six months he calls the doctor.
“Doctor, we have a problem. The crank won’t turn any more, and my wife has grown a goatee.”
Didja hear the one about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
My wife was thinking about getting a boob job for $5000!
So I suggested she just rubbed toilet paper between her boobs for awhile.
She question me as to why I would suggest that?
So I told her, “ we’ll it can’t hurt,I’m mean look what it did for your ass”.
The divorce was shortly there after, she had no sense of humor.