The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
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Original artwork by TheOatmeal
You get equal credit for all you contributed. :)
The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
397 Satisfied Customers!™
Original artwork by TheOatmeal
Wow.
L
Dang, I have shunned relatives that talk just like that.
Most are still doing time.
Or dead from likker poisonin’.
<> Lyuke! That thar is YO SISTAH not YO COUSIN!!Totally wrong. Unless you were going for black southerners. In order for satire to be funny there must be an element of truth. FAIL
Ah done changed that shyite, boy! Betta pray to Lord God Jeesus and all His Disciples Ah don't just whup you upside the head on top a dat!
I was hoping it would be in 3D VistaVision with all of the dialogue in Esperanto.
"Damn girl! You as good as yo sister!"
"Baby -- my baby's daddah is your brother."
"Ah knows."
The so-bad-it’s-good European Star Wars ripoff movie, “Star Crash”, has a bad southern drawl speaking robot, and some of the most hilariously bad dialogue you will ever hear.
It also ripped off the Ray Harryhausen sword and sandals movies, 2001: A Space Odyssey, etc., etc.
But it does star the toothsome Caroline Munro in Barbarella style outfits.
Darth Vader: Obi-Wan never told yinz wah happened to yinzes father.
Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me yinz keeled him!
Darth Vader: No. ahz yinzes father.
yinz can't win, Vader. If yinz strike me dahn, I shall become more pahr ful than yinz can possibly imagine.
Luke: I won't fail you. I'm not ascared.
Yoda: yizzel be. yizzel be.
You also forgot the bit at the end with Vader going, “Kyook, kyook, kyook...”
I keep picturing him saying “Coral! I mean, Lewk!” in a Georgia sheriff’s accent.
Yo mamma?
We need to define what we speak. We need to give a clear definition to our language...We know that ebony means black and that phonics refers to speech sounds or the science of sounds. Thus, we are really talking about the science of black speech sounds or language
Among the most commonly discussed features of Ebonics are: (1) omission of the copula be in such sentences as “Larry sick,” “Sharon gon come,” and “Glenn playin,” (2) consonant cluster simplification, so that, for example, the pronunciation of passed or past is often indistinguishable from that of pass, (3) double negatives, as in “She don wan nothin,” (4) lack of subject-verb agreement, as in “He do,” (5) absence of subject-auxiliary inversion in direct questions, such as “Why you don’t like me?” and “Where he is?,” (6) subject-auxiliary inversion in subordinate clauses, such as “He aks me did I do it?,” (7) omission of the auxiliary do in questions such as “What you want?” (a feature germane to the absence of subject-auxiliary inversion and typologically related to the absence of the copula as a semantically empty verb), (8) consuetudinal or invariant be, such as “Billy don’t be telling lies” (different in meaning from “Billy don’t tell lies,” because it refers to repeated processes rather than to a repeated activity), and (9) the use of steady to indicate persistence, in constructions such as “She steady talking” to mean “She persists in talking.”
No “hold muh beer” scene???
I’m disappointed.
#sad
Bless your little heart Lazamataz, that is your proper name, right honey. Sweetie I am as southern born,southern bred as can be but that talk you are passing for southern is down right, honey I don’t want to hurt your little feelings and I am not familiar with your family, but sweetie you just sorely miss represented us southerners, yes you did but that’s OK we All makes mistake and we will help you get by.Buttercup I just love our butter cup blooms every year don’t you, well I know you are new to the south, and the good Lord knows, O GOD Bless us all but, you took our charm and mixed it with street slang, with a few bless you hearts, Lord have mercy on your soul. In Sunday school Mrs Wilson needed the smelling sauce, before church can you believe that, my Aunt Christine fell in the floor praying for your soul, Aunt Christine just wants everyone through the pearly gates, that’s a good thing don’t you think so, yes I know you want the very best for everyone too, now don’t you agree of course you do. Whispering (honey it took us a long time to understand why you want to hit all those young ladies, so we figured you must have just had your sweet little heart broken at a tender age, that’s OK we have all been through some heartache, this Sunday after we visit the Lords house we want you to come over and tell us all about it, we have some pretty sweet things that can heal your heart and you will be passing the Lord all night long) Honey I got to run now call my friends, we have a garden party after church Sunday and love is in the air, I just love parties, don’t you, of course. All is going to be fine, I will save you a seat, our seats are 3rd row from the front right side, that is as close as we can get to the preacher until someone dies and we can move up. So I will see you Sunday at 10:45 looking so forward to our party, oh there are some sweet things in church too Dr Glover and Dr Turner have been trying to get their girls married for a while now. Let me hug your neck and you be careful, I got big plans for you honey and they are as sweet as a tall glass of sweet tea.
Hat tip to you both
Lots of fun and better than the original