Posted on 07/03/2018 12:17:54 PM PDT by EdnaMode
I’m a 35-year-old man and I’ve always identified as straight. I’ve been married twice and been in many relationships with genetic women but it never worked out. Recently, I’ve discovered my attraction to trans women. I’m not ashamed, but I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?
I want to commend you for expressing your truth because it takes tremendous courage, particularly while living in a society that has very rigid notions of what masculinity looks and behaves like. In the trans community, we sometimes overlook that the men who are attracted to us must endure a coming out process as well. You’ll be happy to know that you’ve already taken the most challenging step, which is to come to an understanding of your sexuality and embrace it. It sounds like you’re ready to move forward.
Before I continue, I want to note that while you’re probably feeling anxious, your trans partner is likely experiencing some herself. She may be dealing with the usual nerves that come with meeting a partner’s loved ones, coupled with some insecurities regarding how her femininity and womanhood will be perceived. For this reason, I think it’s best to tell your friends and family that she is transgender before you introduce your partner to them. You wouldn’t want to put her in a potentially uncomfortable or dangerous situation that could heighten her gender dysphoria.
When considering your query, I decided to reach out to writer, public speaker and trans activist Tiq Milan for more insight.
“You have to be her first line of defense,” he said in an email. “She is the one that has to be outed to them, so you have an obligation to protect her in awkward situations and intervene if people are disrespectful.”
When you ultimately decide to tell your friends and family, I recommend framing each conversation in a positive light. There’s no need to express your partner’s transness as something that is strange or abnormal. Tell your loved ones you’ve met a wonderful girl who you are very fond of and that she happens to have a different past than most girls because she was assigned male at birth. Let them know that she now identifies as a woman and lives her life accordingly.
Be sure to also sprinkle in some distinctive details about who she is, like her hobbies and aspirations. Paint an accurate and well-rounded picture beyond her trans identity. After all, trans people are multifaceted human beings, full of nuance and depth. We are more than our trans identity.
There is always a chance that certain individuals will not react well to finding out your partner is trans. But in my personal experience, people tend to be much more open and receptive than you may initially think. (It is 2018 after all.) My suggestion is to be open-minded, just like you are hoping your loved ones will be to you. Allow people to surprise you and give them the benefit of the doubt. I think that most of the people who genuinely care about you will just want to see you happy and fulfilled.
Sincerely, Serena
Video. Or sexbot.
‘How do I explain to my friends and my family?’
Start with the plumbing - if you can make it past that, it should be all downhill.
Now that you recognize your problem, see if you can hunt up some shame. It’s worked for thousands of generations before you.
This is what the ME Generation has wrought....all about Me...me...me...and my SEXUAL Identity....sheesh....these sick people.
Don’t bother explaining. Just do us all a favor and drive off a cliff with your so called partner.
Just say Mommy, Daddy, I’m a homo.
That means he’s a homosexual and with another man.
The media lies.
I was watching an old Dean Martin roast on Amazon and Dean Martin was making fun of Flip Wilson for dressing up as Geraldine. He said that Flip needs to see a psychiatrist and everyone laughed. Ahh, those were the good ole days.
That means they’re both pretending. He’s pretending he’s straight and he’s pretending he’s a she. It won’t work out for both of them either. He’ll have to add this to his long list of failed relationships. Maybe he should get a cat.
You have something against cats?
Nah, I was just making a crazy cat lady joke ;)
It’s best people like this don’t get pets either.
and, Pat. There used to be a waiter/waitress in our local Applebees; and, I swear she was the image of SNL's, Pat(someone who couldn't be identified as either male or female). Never could determine what "it" was -- complete mystery.
What the hell is a “genetic woman”? It’s woman, idiot! “transgender woman” = man. You’re gay! Your trans partner is a man.
“transness” is a new word? Substitute “insaneness” instead.
I think you can find a good explanation at the local mental institution.
I’m pretty sure you just say, “Hey I’m a fag.”
Because you are a fag. Fags like things with dicks. Some fags like things with dicks dressed up like women. But the key issue here is that you like dicks.
Just tell them that you and your partner are joining the traveling freak show and that you two will be going by the stage names Ding and Dong.
Good luck.
Was nobody crass enough to ask???
Your parents want grand children.
Good luck
I wasn't, can't speak for anyone else.
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