Posted on 03/22/2018 6:51:42 PM PDT by Ciaphas Cain
MINAS TIRITH, GONDOR—Kicking off a major trade war between the two kingdoms, the Middle-Earth Trade Federation has announced heavy tariffs on the import of Narnian steel, sending the stock market into a freefall Thursday.
Any steel imported from Narnia to Gondor, Rohan, Erebor, or Mirkwood will be subject to a 30% tax. The move is expected to raise the end consumer price of various imported goods significantly, according to expert economists working at Rivendell.
“Trade wars are great, and they’re really easy to win,” the king of Gondor said in a dispatch via carrier pigeon. “If we keep allowing cheap Narnian steel to flood the market, our own blacksmiths won’t be able to be competitive. This act will strengthen our own economies and create hundreds of thousands of jobs, from the Grey Havens to the far reaches of Ithilien.”
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Did Aragorn collude with Mordor in his quest to become king of Gondor?
Aragorn tweets, “FAKE NEWS!!!”
“Trade wars are great, and they’re really easy to win,”
Trade wars are really easy to lose:
Have little or no tariffs and open borders.
No, but Sauruman is hell bent (literally) on proving he did. Or finding any way to take down Aragorn.
Where’s Gandalf?!
I think I’m seeing a pattern here...
That site is funnier than The Onion by far.
Does anyone know how this will affect the price of mithril?
Fine, but what are they doing about orcs migrating illegally from Mordor? I know the government is corrupt, but they need to solve their own problems, not bring them here as well.
There is a damned good reason why early open borders Progressives opted for a Federal income tax to fund the federal government vs having a tariff...
Do you know how many environmental problems Dwarves cause by their unregulated mining?
Gandalf retired to run a bath house in San Francisco.
If I remember, they released a Balrog; a demon of both shadow and flame. Imagine the CO2 emissions of that thing. Few things can match the environmental damage to Middle Earth done by Mount Doom, however, which frequently erupted at Sauron’s command. It was almost as bad as China.
Screw China the commie suppressors of all that is good
They’re going to LEARN A HARD LESSON
for their cheating lying stealing cheating lying stealing an then smily face denials
See ya
Wouldn’t want to be ya Xi
I would worry about the treachery of the DINOs(Dead In Name Only)
Otherwise known as "the Dead Men of Dunharrow"
Beware the Path of the Dead, Aragorn!
Aslan is Lord and all will turn out well, you’ll see
IT SHALL NOT PASS!
Three rings for the Elven kings under the sky
Seven for the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone
Nine for mortal Men doomed to die...
Oh, sure. Blame Sauron...
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