Posted on 03/01/2018 10:01:53 AM PST by sodpoodle
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it. 3. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils. 4. The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize. 5. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. 6. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor. 7. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired. 8. Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. 9. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed. 10. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
Many puns deserve the response, “That was two thirds of a pun - PU.”
The agnostic dyslexic insomniac would lie awake all night questioning the existence of dog.
I knew a cross dressing person who used to date himself.
I’ve seen that, but I wanted to get the tour dog in there.
The preacher said, “Oh Lord, we know that we are but dust.”
My daughter asked me, “Daddy, what is butt dust?”
Waddya make bagels with? Judo.
I would tell my daughter if she ever married a guy named Ford, Dodge, Benz, Ferrari, Bentley, Lincoln or Rolls PLEASE don’t name her daughter Lisa.
Her father ran the telegraph office and she Did it did it did it did it.....
Robinson Crusoe was walking along the shore one day when he saw footprints in the sand. With a deep sigh he said,”Thank God it’s Friday.”
My grandfather told me when I was about 11 years old to never marry a man for his money, because once I had spent it, I would be stuck with him.
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