Posted on 12/24/2017 8:57:26 AM PST by OneVike
I plan on getting it published in time for Christmas next year. It will be targeted for 7 to 11 year old children. A book to be read to them, and for them to read as they learn how. It will be an illustrated book, with pictures throughout it. So I will be looking for someone to draw the pictures for me since I will be dealing with copyright issues.
If anyone has any ideas that may help, by all means please let me know. I hope you enjoy the story.
I Wrote A Children's Book
Please tell Me What You Think
Send FReep Mail to OneVike to get
[ON] or [OFF]
Ping List
bttt
Unless you think that might involve copyright issues.
In which case, pop tart crumbs. More modern too.
Typo. Should be knew instead of new.
Typo. Missing a period after lost.
Women slaving away in the kitchen cooking while the men play cards? How in the world will a kid today be able to relate to a story from 1949? Today a kid would pull out his smartphone and use siri to find her way home or else just phone home and ask to get picked up.
What’s the lesson or purpose of the story and did you achieve it? Who is the audience?
Liked it. Believable story.
Excellent point. Set your time period.
It was the brothers that were playing cards. Another clue that they were poor, cause they couldn't even afford to play video games. The men don't come around till after the kids go to bed.
It's got single moms, dads in jail, poverty. It's a tale for the modern age.
One Vike, you should probably play up the above listed angles. People like Kirkwood can't read between the lines so I don't think kids will either.
Just some notes.
Geez... Why are you insulting the poster by making snide remarks about his family life? Saying his dad was in prison and his mom on welfare. Not cool.
My point was that kids today can’t relate to normal life from generations past.
BTTT
The time is actually 1962, so you are right no cell phones.
As for the girls helping mom, they enjoyed helping mom cook.
The author obviously meant that the dad was in prison. That's why he said he had to "go away for a while." That's a common euphemism. Ask Forrest Gump's mom.
You, on the other hand, did make snide remarks. You didn't even have the respect to read the story. There were no "men" playing cards. And all that about a cell phone. What kind of story would it be if the kids just moseyed on home with no problem. There would be no tearful reunion on Christmas.
You took a beautiful Christmas story and turned it into something ugly.
You need to get in the spirit of Christmas. When you make the effort to write a Christmas story and ask for notes, I will be happy to help you too. The author is free to take or leave my notes as he will.
Scrooge!
p.s. Merry Christmas.
I liked the story very much. I’d like it better if the story specified that the dad was in the military. The scene with the snow,the dark, the cold and a lost little boy was set really well.
Thank you, I’ll correct those errors.
The audience is 7 to 11 year old children.
Lesson and purpose? Hmm, good question.
I guess to know where you live and listen to mom about going home before it gets dark.
It’s a story to entertain, and it is based on a true event in my life, so i am glad it came off as believable.
Good idea, in today’s world children will understand that well. I like it.
Thanks, I am glad I described it well.
This was before Johnson and his "Great Society" agenda. When that passed I , as a youngster, noticed the effect it had on new residents.
Often I go by the apartment complex , " The Courts" and it is sad to see what has happened. Personal pride , for some, doesn't exist like it did in the past.
"The Courts" was a stepping stone until families acquired enough money to buy a home.
Good points. You are correct, the family unit and neighborhood closeness was destroyed by making the government the daddy and paying young girls to get pregnant to get their own place.
I enjoyed reading your story.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.