That would make for some very entertaining commercials! TV, online or radio. Think of a Spam equivalent of the Hamburglar.
Spam is huge in Hawaii.
Ode to Spam:
Oh SPAM! Oh SPAM! Gourmet delight!
My food by day, my dreams by night.
To carve, to slice, to dice you up -
pureed in a blender and sipped from a cup.
What shining deity from Olympus knelt
down to the earth and hog butt smelt?
Creating then man’s eternal desire
for swine entrails congealed by fire.
On some corporate farm, a pig has died.
Eyes, tongue, and snout end up inside that cube
of SPAM hidden in the can
I now hold in my trembling hand.
More than mere food, SPAM is for me
a hedonistic expression of gluttonous glee.
Mottled with pork fat, the pink cube engrosses.
My mouth takes it in, my intestine disposes.
Long have my arteries clogged to the sound
of sizzling SPAM when there’s no one around -
furtively chewing or swallowing whole.
Triple bypass by forty, my medical goal.
Other processed meat products I’ve tried or declined
Vienna Sausages, Treet, even pig’s feet in brine.
Though each may be tasty in different ways,
none matches SPAM for gelatinous glaze.
That glistening pinkness beckons me
with gristle, fat, and BHT.
Oh SPAM, my SPAM - the taste, the smell!
The sacred meat product, from Hormel.
Across the vast Pacific, cargo cults await the return of free SPAM dropped out of the sky by the Big Steel Birds.
The homeless hordes are starving.
Nothing best a slow-fried Spam sandwich for breakfast.
Nothing.
Bacon and Spam?
That’s too much
Doesn’t Hawaii have a very serious wild pig problem? Plenty of pork on the ground!
Oh wait! Demoncraps control the place and guns are evil! Silly me!
Spam will never die. It’s a very efficient food.
Historical note: Nikita Khrushchev credited American lend lease Spam with preventing him from starving to death during the Battle of Stalingrad.
Reminds me of how Gillette razor blade refills are locked because so many people steal them.
Hawaii has like 15 kinds of spam, unlike the rest of the country that has just one. Hi Cory smoked spam, garlic spam, ....
I don’t remember the last time I ate Spam. 35 years at least.
I’ve got a whole folder full of Spam. I generally check and empty it once a month. They’re welcome to it...just let me know where to send it.
Spam is the acronym for Synthetic Processed Artificial Meat.
A family friend lead a sniper team in Ramadi. I sent them care packages every so often and always included a can of traditional Spam. I said I didn’t expect them to eat it, but to dip their bullets in the grease. That way when they killed an insurgent, he would go straight to hell and never even get to wave at the 72 virgins on the way by. I also encouraged them to let the locals know, but not their officers.
My Daddy says potted meat is made of...
Spam and Tide laundry soap are major theft items.
Can SOMEONE explain this to me?