Posted on 05/14/2017 3:45:35 PM PDT by BJ1
It takes two to make a realtionship work, but only one to blow it up.
And many women are immature as well. But we can’t say that. If you have not gotten the gist here yet, men are tired of being blamed for the dissatisfaction women have with their relationships. Again, it is a fact that the more partners a woman has, the less satisfied she is in marriage. This is not her husband’s fault, but hers. Which again is why 70% of divorces are initiated by women, another fact.
I do not hate women, never have, never will. I grew up in a two parent household with a division of labor. Man took care of earning money, woman took care of the kids and the home. And as much as it may displease many women, this division of labor worked. I made the mistake of trying to duplicate what worked. I earned six figures, worked my a$$ off. And yet I was divorced because she woke up one day and decided that she was not haaaappy. I was not a perfect husband, no such thing exists. But I came home after work every night, I did not cheat on her, drink too much, or abuse her in any way. Yes, I did have to work a lot of hours, but that was because she liked to spend for a lot of hours! She wanted for nothing, believe me. Our marriage could easily have been saved, but she was bored and ready for her next relationship adventure. So, I will not agree that it takes two to ruin a relationship. Sometimes only one is necessary. And believe it or not, a woman CAN be wrong.
I recognize that women can be wrong.
I’m sorry that you had such a horrible experience.
The men here on FR are a very small subset of the population. Many are willing to subject their existence to the whims of a woman. I am sure there are a select few who do not have to do that. But, in my experience, just about the only way a man remains married these days is if he is willing to hack off his testicles, and hand them to his wife so she can hang them from her rear view mirror. This is the so called “magic” you speak of. I will never be a magician. And if that means I remain unmarried, I am fine with that.
It all appears to be a vicious circle. Women are taught that they can have it all but the problem is that one part of your life will inevitably intrude on another. The expectation of this rosy picture of being a top professional with a dreamy husband, stable home life with multiple kids that won’t turn to drugs due to lack of attention all done with ease is pure fantasy.
Another thing is that women used to be on the side of a man and the family. Yet women have become more self-centered and that is also true of men as well. They don’t become one, both master and both servant.
I think the happily married men here have found good women. Good women exist, and I’m sure one exists that you would be happy with. But if you just won’t believe it, you’ve sealed your fate.
Good lord what a nightmare.
The reason behind my saying that young women should be willing to date older men is because women hit their peak attractiveness around their early 20s, while men tend to not feel ready for marriage until a few years later. A girl willing to date older men has a much larger pool of candidates.
“I think the happily married men here have found good women. Good women exist, and I’m sure one exists that you would be happy with. But if you just won’t believe it, you’ve sealed your fate.”
Sure, and I will find her on the shelf right next to the Leprechauns, fried ice, and mermaids.
Nailed it. My husband's ex shrew divorced him shortly after the third child was born... he's 49 and has been paying hefty matriarchy support for 12 1/5 years. Will be impoverished for another 6 1/5 years yet. Matriarchy support goes well beyond 18 years here in NY. Funny thing is she's college educated and he's blue collar. While they were married, he worked 2 and 3 jobs while she was a stay in bed mom. literally. After the divorce and a pile dream failed business, she got a govt job and re-married a white collar beta male.
you’ve obviously never been through “family” court as a caucasian western male.
feminism is a lie.
true. my husband’s line of sight was exactly parallel to the ex-shrew’s bust line. I exaggerate a teensy bit
this is what I call the “stay in bed” mom. My husband’s ex shrew was one of these.
They're called liberals.
Oh, well. Have a happy life.
I am having a bit of difficulty following? What rights? I think you might responding to another post, but am not sure..
Fregards
>>>I haven’t seen quite the adamant negativity from women here, as I’ve seen from some men.
As for your ‘experience’: you can’t change the past, but you can change your mind at any moment. Until you do, and believe in the possibility, you will never be able to find a woman who can be to you what you may want. You’ve decided that it doesn’t exist out there, and it’s so, for you.
The venom coming off of some of you guys is so strong I’m sure I’d sense it if I simply passed you as a stranger on the street...<<<
Take a guy like BizBroker who had a bad/terrible experience with a woman. He’s now older and wiser. BizBroker has taken the red pill and now claims he sees women for who they truly are and not for how men would prefer women to be.
Now that he’s older most quality women are married off. There are millions of guys like BizBroker competing for women too. Unfortunately women do the leaving in marriage at a rate of 70% to 30%. And of those 70% of marriages initiated by the woman, 60% are done by this term I read in a study, “unprovoked.” In short there are way more single middle aged divorcees out there that are the primary cause of a past divorce than such women who did not actively destroy their past marriage.
Once you’ve take the red pill, you will not entertain the thought of settling down with a woman who divorced her previous husband for some frivolous reason. Therefore, there are too many regular guys who came home to a wife who gave him, the “I’m not in love with you anymore” and/or “I found somebody else” speech than there are women who have had that happen to them.
There aren’t enough safe women for middle aged guys to all find somebody to marry. Maybe BizBroker can find a good woman. But imho that’s a zero sum game. If he finds one, another man will be shut out. And even if he thinks he found a “good” woman, he’s still taking a chance he won’t get divorced raped, as all marriage is now a contract with the state.
Maybe the hostility you sense is understandable. I have experienced that speech above. It’s quite maddening when you start to think about it. So many women have these goals when they start the divorce process. 1) Get rid of the first husband. 2) Keep the house, furniture and take half of the rest. 3) Get as much money as possible from the ex each month. 4) Marry the guy I’m having an affair with.
The first husband could realistically find himself downsized while another man moves into his house, sleeps with his ex-wife and the first husband sees his children less often than the new husband.
While the first husband is free to find another wife, it will be complicated by the fact that he lost a lot of his assets and will be paying child support.
I think it’s understandable for men’s behavior to be outright hostile towards the opposite sex when they’ve been burned. I’m not saying it’s healthy or even right. I’m just saying it’s understandable.
>>>The men here on FR are a very small subset of the population. Many are willing to subject their existence to the whims of a woman. I am sure there are a select few who do not have to do that. But, in my experience, just about the only way a man remains married these days is if he is willing to hack off his testicles, and hand them to his wife so she can hang them from her rear view mirror. This is the so called “magic” you speak of. I will never be a magician. And if that means I remain unmarried, I am fine with that.<<<
I have seem some guys in long marriages around the age of 50-65 joke around that their key to a successful marriage is saying “yes dear.”
I couldn’t do that and I’m on a second marriage.
Are men just being rationale in their passivity or is that a flaw in their character? I can’t tell.
I think it’s understandable too; but for most people it’s not productive of happiness. Everyone has bad experiences in every area of life; the ones who dump the chip on the shoulder and go out and try again often wind up content, while others stew in their unhappy juice.
I don’t believe that anything in life is a ‘zero sum’ game. This notion that we are all somehow in competition with one another for everything is one of the main things making the world miserable.
And I honestly don’t see a whole lot of difference between this and any other blaming of society or ‘others’ for failure or disappointment.
(Historically, there were a lot of Black people who made fortunes and achieved happiness, despite the fact that White society did everything it could to block them from achievement. If they had said, “there’s no hope, there’s no use, it’s all stacked against me” they would never have achieved. This is true in every aspect of life, and too many people place judgment before faith when they’ve had a bad experience and fear another.)
If he or she wants, a person can turn away from what seems to be, and just go after what they want with a positive attitude. Those people will do better and be happier than the ones who persist in believing so profoundly in the power and immutability of ‘circumstances’.
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