Posted on 05/11/2017 10:02:05 PM PDT by BJ1
At the end of the day, most men just want a woman who’s nice. “Nice,” to a man, means being soft, gentle and kind. It means asking your husband how his day was and really listening. It means doing something nice for him with no expectation of getting something in return—you know, the way you did when you were dating. But wait a minute, you say. Don’t women want the same thing? A man who’s nice? Not exactly. Most women do want a man who’s kind, but that’s not the same as nice. Ask any guy you know, and he’ll likely give you example after example of women they know who said they wanted a nice guy but in reality wanted a bad boy. That’s because just as most men are attracted to femininity, or softness, most women are attracted to masculinity. And masculinity is hard. Gruff. Take charge. So, where are you on the nice scale? If you’re not an inherently nice person, believe me I get it. I think I’m pretty nice, but that isn’t the first word one would think of to describe me. The truth is, I’ve had to exercise my nice muscle. Now Playing Author shares marriage advice for 'alpha females' Never autoplay videos I’ve had to learn how to be be nice. A lot of women think they’re nice because they act nice. But acting nice and being nice are two different things. Being nice means you think of others before you think about yourself. (And yes, there’s such thing as being too nice and putting your needs last; but I’m not talking about that.) It means you’re attune to the needs of others and incorporate those needs into the equation. Most husbands have no desire to lord over their wives....
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
I hear you. :)
Courts in most states today greatly encourage Divorce Mediation (but not as much if children are involved). In Mediation, you both work out the separation of the assets, nobody gets an attorney, the mediator ensures a fair process, and both agree to be bound by the mediator's final decisions. It costs far less, is far faster, and is becoming more and more popular (as long as you can both be adults).
I’ll settle for under 70 and breathing...
I have to say, she got up to make her first public speech, and she lead with the Lord’s Prayer. Of all things.
She looks like something a 13 year old would invent in a lab, but she lead with the Lord’s Prayer. Hate to say it, but that’s hot.
Nothing hotter than sex in a good marriage.
I stay in reasonable fitness, and keep clean and groomed. It’s not difficult.
I get hit on.
Sorry, ladies ... (taken)
Gentlemen take note.
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All that goes a LONG way.
Get an American man who’s loaded (to them), who is a pathway to American citizenship, (which they could never afford otherwise), tends to not drink away the paycheck and beat them.
Heck, they think they hit the jackpot.
Doesn’t matter what he looks like either cause he’s certainly not going to be any worse in just about all regards than anything homegrown.
It’s easy to look good when you’re getting compared to what they have a choice in. No competition.
IOW, someone who is not *high maintenance*.
Sadly, while most women are not very high on the crazy matrix, they are in the high maintenance category.
Get to praying instead of preaching, and all will be well.
The whole article mentions several variations, such as the male ancestors being in engineering or mechanics, I think—it’s been a few years since I read it myself, but it really explained a lot, when I look at the families I know who have persons who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s or autism.
I guess you missed my point. When a person is so miserable, they wish their spouse would give them a way out, it’s time to get out.
Did she leave you or did you leave her.Thank You.
Yeah. I read “The Total Woman” in the ‘60’s, too. And any “bill” he got, was of his own making. A man who is insanely jealous, again, for absolutely no reason, and is jealous of any attention his wife gives his children, is a sick cookie, and not a fit husband. Any other kind of bill he paid, is, as a matter of fact, very little. He got the house, all the furniture except 1 table, my piano, and 2 chairs. I got 1/2 of his pension (at that time - not future amounts), and $200/month child support. My attorney told me I was nuts, that I should either get the house, or, if I didn’t want it, then half the value of it, and at the very minimum, $100/ week, for the two children still at home, if not double. I told him, that I didn’t want to put him in that position, because I wasn’t trying to ruin him, I just couldn’t be married to him any more. I realize that there are a lot of bitter men out there, who have been absolutely gobsmacked, when their wives divorced them. When men are completely taken by surprise when their wives leave them, (and it’s rarely for another man) it just MAY be, because they were so determined to have their own way, that they didn’t notice how miserable their wives were. And even if I had loved him, what kind of woman stands by and watches her children suffer abuse from an overbearing husband, and can still love him? I feel sorry for men or women, whose spouse has left them, but it’s rarely just one person’s fault, and I certainly did not intimate that in my original post. If someone asks me if I believe in divorce, I always tell them, even as a divorced person, no, I don’t. But there are times when it’s better than being miserable. When Jesus said, “Moses gave you a bill of divorcement, it was because of the hardness of your hearts”, he wasn’t just talking about the person seeking the divorce.
I hope so. Whether some of the people who answered my post like it or not, we serve a God of second chances, and if we mess up, for any reason, He is able to restore us, as well as the years that the locusts have eaten, and is able, and WILLING to give us beauty for ashes.
I've come to the same conclusion.
I have friends whose wives have left them and they did NOT see it coming.
I did. Could have told them years ago. But they wouldn't have listened.
Yup, the men are so self-absorbed that they just don't notice what others are going through. And to not even pick up on it in your own wife, who you live with?
Exactly.
I’m afraid that the answer to that question is far too complicated and personal to answer in this context. I’ve already disclosed more about my ex than is proper.
She’s a good person and I’ll always support her. The original post on this thread brought up strong feelings I have from many years of longing for small gestures of approval and thanks. They are so important.
The alpha woman is the one who marries the alpha man. In our culture, and probably every other.
Your post irked me because of its assumed fantasy that all women in marriage behave as you inferred which is far from the truth.
Human beings aren’t alpha. That’s for animals.
If humans were designated alpha, the alpha would be the guy with 30 kids from 20 different women who pays nothing for any of them.
That’s an alpha male.
I think you just hit upon the fundamental problem in the “inner city”!
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