Posted on 04/10/2017 4:52:51 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Where to Retire.
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where 1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees. 6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
OR
You can retire to California where... 1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.
OR
You can retire to New York City where... 1 You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 3. You think Central Park is "nature." 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual. 5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.) 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression
You can retire to The Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. 5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.” 6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart” at the end!
OR
FINALLY you can retire to Florida where... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
OR: you can stay where you are now and be happy.
We moved from DFW, Texas, to SW Florida. Temperatures are milder, taxes are lower. It is slightly over 2 hours to Miami, Orlando. Housing costs are much lower, dollar goes further.
Having been raised in Los Angeles, lived in NJ and live in Dallas I can say 3 of these are COMPLETELY ACCURATE!
I could sell my CA home, buy another in the Ozarks and use the rest for retirement.
Near your family.
Love the Georgia and South Carolina coasts - for the people and activities; crabbing mostly;) Historical sites and towns are gorgeous, especially Savannah and Charleston.
Too humid for me, but a lot of eye candy.
You forgot the wonderful scorpions in AZ.
I 'second' that!
At the very least, 'retire' somewhere else but when health STARTS to falter - have a plan in place to get back to the family.
What is it with you “come heres”???
Do we have to start blowing up interstate 75 and 95?
Florida is a terrible place to retire. We have monstrous mosquitoes, scorching summers that are unbearable without expensive air conditioning which breaks all the time and cost a fortune to repair. We have termites that will eat through the floor straight up into the legs of the sofa and eat it out from under you. We have pythons and lizards that have escaped from the pet trade and are eating our cows. Not to mention the alligators, rattlers, and spiders.
The hospitals are filled with illegal aliens.
HURRICANES.....HURRICANES...If they don’t blow your house away, you will die from the flood surge and if you manage to survive that, you suffer from lack of power for months while the power companies from across the country move into all the available hotel room which means you are camping out in a Walmart tent eating out of a can and drinking bottled water.
Stay Away!!! It is NOT safe, especially for old people or Yankees.
As close to your grandchildren, children and other family as you can. Relationships, for me, outweigh weather and economics.
What about medical especially othomologist or cornea docs? Asking for a friend stuck in Pensacola where they are non existent.
I’d look for a state with no state income tax and low cost of living, gun friendly. Stay away from big cities, go semi rural. You might have to travel for medical care, that is a reasonable travel time, but it’s the trade off of living away from the crime and low life’s. Look for a RED district. You don’t want to move into a Dem controlled one. Stay away from college towns.
You will find getting away from big cities drops property, car ins, taxes and rates big time. If you want a gun friendly state you need to research that. FL is plagued with SINK holes so that is another search you have to do. Climate is the other. What hobbies do you have, Land O Lakes in TN straddles 2 states, so you can take your pick 1 has a state income tax, TN does not, climate is decent, no state income tax, gun friendly, Red Legislature controlled for now. Hunting, fishing is great. Beautiful area for hunting, fishing, boating. Some large cities with in reach.
It is a valid question, but one that should be asked by someone years before they retire.
I thought I planned my retirement well but the one thing I did not consider was, should I move.
If I had, I would have taken some of my vacations and spent a few weeks in a potential retirement location. As it is, we did travel, but never spent much time at any location. Certainly not enough to know if we would like the area or the people.
So we retired where we lived. We know the area, the people the climate. Not all perfect but something we are used to.
Sounds a lot like E. Tenn.
***It is a valid question, but one that should be asked by someone years before they retire.****
Indeed. This was intended as a ‘humor’ thread = bashing a few areas in a light-hearted way, but from the comments, it is clear that as you age you should stay close to family in familiar surroundings among friends you know. Also, the aging process varies, but it helps if one doesn’t overload the mind learning new contacts, locations, services and medical facilities. Driving becomes a challenge in new environs.
If you’re widowed or otherwise alone and can’t live by yourself, you’ll need an advocate once you’re in the assisted-living system. My mother took care of my father until he died, and she has plans in place to move near my brother (in snowy PA) when she’s no longer independent.
The Georgia and South Carolina coasts?
Don’t do it!
The crabs are too small. Nothing like Deadliest Catch or a tasty left coast Dungeness.
The sand gnats alone will make you wish you lived somewhere else. Deer flies as well.
Springtime pollen! Multiply your allergies x1000 and be prepared to be miserable.
Stifling heat and humidity in the summer-most just stay indoors!
HURRICANES! Matthew devastated us last year. Week+ without power for many!
Wild hogs that tear up your property.
Gators in every pond and the saltwater marshes.
Dangerous snakes as well! Copperheaded-Rattle-Moccasins all over the place.
Deer are overpopulated and will eat everything you plant.
Yeah, don’t move here. Stay where you’re at.
X2 Gadsden!
LOL!!!!
That’ll keep the Yankees out;)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.