Posted on 09/21/2016 3:05:21 PM PDT by CGASMIA68
Turner Classics tonight 8 PM my area Good wholesome entertainment for the entire clan.
Wife and I Laugh Hysterically every time we watch it, even though have viewed it several times and know what is going to happen. One of the all time best.
Awesome flying with the Beech 18!
My favorite part: kicking the bucket.
Genius writer (s). They don’t do that anymore.
Back around 1953 my Brothers and I would sneak into the “Isle of View” drive in theater through a hole in the fence. We would turn on a speaker in the last row.
The only problem was there were ants. I suspect they knew we were sneaking in but didn’t really care.
I think it is the greatest ensemble comedy movie ever. There is a special on youtube about the making of it. And by the way; Barrie Chase, who was with Dick Shawn in the beach house is still alive.
We did the sation wagon thing too.....As I posted, Grammie was laughing her head off..I didn’t get much of it.
Will see tonight
PS,Remember those circular curly green Mosquito repellent things you put on the dash board?
Yup-—that airplane scene is hilarious-—
especially flying through the billboard.
Paul Ford falling out of the airport tower is also funny.
But Sid Ceasar and Edie Adams trying to break out of the hardware store is the funniest.
Saw my 1st Clint Eastwood movie that way at the Hartford Drive in on the Berlin Tpk in Newington Ct.
Fist Full of Dollars
We had 2 drive ins we would walk to back then the other was the Pike ( I think)
The end where they break out of the hardware store and into the Chinese laundry always makes me laugh.
If I remember right there were two in Panama City at the time.
The “Isle of View” was in Springfield which is a suburb and the larger one was “The Bud Davis Drive In”. It had a large playground for the kids between the screen and parking.
We lived in Cedar Grove which was not far from Springfield.
I'd post it but it was like 50 pages or something. Here's the opening scene:
The movie opens with a high aerial shot, looking down on a winding, West Virginia mountain road. As the shot tightens, we see a vintage El Camino rounding a dangerous curve at an exceptionally high speed. As it comes around the perilous bend, it narrowly avoids a big moving van, swings around it and picks up even more speed. It passes an old Volkswagen Bug on the straight-away, and accelerates around a boxy, slow sedan.
As the shot switches, we see the back of a white-haired man's head. He takes a long swig from a tequila bottle and turns around to yell at the driver of the sedan he's just passed.
CLINTON: Get that electric piece of shit off the road, ya freakin' tree-hugger!!
He turns his head back around, leans forward and grabs a lit joint from the ashtray, as a previously unseen head rises from his lap.
MONICA: Don't you think you're going a little fast, handsome?
CLINTON: That mouth wasn't built for nagging, Monica!
He pushes her head back down, and begins turning the wheel to the right, taking the next curve much faster than he should. He sucks on the joint and stifles a small cough. Suddenly, a convertible red Lincoln appears through the windshield, moving slowly. Clinton drops the joint, slams on the brakes, and turns the wheel to the left - but he's lost control! The car smashes through the guardrail and the screeching tires go suddenly silent, as the El Camino takes flight. As the nose falls forward, we see the driver's perspective of the horrifying plunge the car is about to undertake.
CLINTON: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
The camera is far below, at the bottom of the ravine, where it captures the El Camino hanging, momentarily motionless in the air. Then the moment passes, and the car grows larger and larger in the shot, until it crashes nose-first in a sickening crunch. The ensuing dust cloud fills the screen, as the world goes eerily silent.
A big, wide-angled view of the roadway. The red Lincoln screeches to a halt, with the electric sedan right behind it. The VW bug pulls behind them, followed by the bulky moving van. The men in all four vehicles jump out to survey the horrendous scene below.
George Stephanopoulis emerges from the red Lincoln, runs to the smashed railing and looks down in horror. He is shaking nervously. In the background, we can see two women remaining in his car. Al Gore leaves Tipper in their electric sedan and runs by Stephanopoulis' side.
STEPHANOPOULIS: Did you see the way that car went sailing out there?! The terrible way it just went sailing out there? That's a nice sedan you've got there, Al... electric huh? (stifling giggles)... it just sailed right out there!
GORE: That was a terrible thing. George. That was a terrible thing to witness.
Mike Dukakis and Walter Mondale run up to join the first two. They are traveling together in the VW Bug. Behind them, Pat Buchanan lumbers out of the moving van and peers into the ravine in astonishment.
BUCHANAN: Wow! Did you see how fast that car was going? Don't see any of them Jap cars accelerate like that baby!
DUKAKIS: We should get an ambulance!
BUCHANAN: Let's get down there!
Buchanan takes a few steps and starts scrambling down the side of the ravine. Mondale and Dukakis follow right behind him.
GORE: Does anybody have a first aid kit? A first aid kit is a prudent thing to have.
Stephanopoulis turns and yells back at the women in his car.
STEPHANOPOULIS: We're going to go down there - you two just stay in the car, OK?
CHELSEA CLINTON: Georgie, be careful! Remember your condition! Don't do anything too stressful!
STEPHANOPOULIS: I'll be fine, sweetie. You two just relax. I'll go see if anyone survived.
HILLARY CLINTON: OH SHUT UP! YOU EFFEMINATE WIMP! Survived! Ha! Get down there with the rest of them! See who was in that car!
Stephanopoulis and Gore follow the other men down the hill. As they arrive at the crash site, we see the wrecked El Camino, smashed nose first into a group of boulders. About ten feet from the wreckage, the camera pans across the driver, lying broken, but peaceful, on his back. He lies on top of a pile of old garbage, obviously dumped here years ago. There are bottles, cans, tires, a refrigerator door, etc. There is also an old dented bucket by his right foot. They all spot the dying man simultaneously and scramble over the rocks towards him.
BUCHANAN: It's Bill Clinton!! And he's alive!!
STEPHANOPOULIS: Oh my! Bill!... and he still looks pretty handsome.
GORE: Bill. Are you all right?
Although near death, Clinton is still well enough to glare at Gore, astonished by his inane question. He turns to Buchanan.
CLINTON: Is he an idiot or what?
BUCHANAN: You won't hear me arguing.
STEPHANOPOULIS: Don't worry Bill. You don't look too bad. We're gonna get you an ambulance! (looking at the others) Can we carry him up the hill?
CLINTON: If you move me, I'll break into a million pieces. Looks like I'm done for. (reflectively now) What a raw deal... all that money! I'll never get to it now...
MONDALE: Just stay still Mr. President. We'll get an ambulance for you.
CLINTON: All that money from the Chinese... the biggest payday in the history of treason! ... and nobody knows where it's buried but me.
DUKAKIS: Save your strength Bill. They'll fix you up! Ex-presidents get an excellent health care package... I ummmm... I checked... you know, back then... (sadly) just in case...
CLINTON: I never told a soul! At least not anyone who's still alive. The Chinese paid BIG for my services... everyone thought I sold the country out for a paltry three million. Do I look like a rube?! Try SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION!! Did ya hear what I said? Seven hundred and fifty million dollars! All for little old Bill... I buried it myself... in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Buried it under a BIG TOP! A big top, I tell ya! In Pigeon Forge, Tennessee... seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
GORE: Relax and lay still Bill.
CLINTON: Ya know... any one of yas could be president with that kind of dough! Any one of yas! Just dig it up from under the big top... the BIG TOP in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. A year or two of relentlessly inflammatory, racially-divisive, class-envy ads and the office is yours. How do you think Ted Turner pulled it off? My God!... with seven hundred and fifty million dollars, you could saturate every market, pander to every conceivable group. Do you understand what I'm saying?! Walter! If they try to bring up the myriad foreign policy disasters of the Carter Administration you could just change the topic to your opponent's virulent racism - real or imagined!
MONDALE: (pretending not to be intrigued by what he is hearing) That's nice, Bill. Just lay still.
CLINTON: Under the big top! That's where it's buried! Pat! Let 'em try to bring up the surreptitiously socialist nature of protectionism! BOOOOORING! You could counter by running thousands of ads claiming that your opponent absolutely LOVES illegal immigration! "Americans losing jobs by the millions! Foreigners everywhere!" With enough money... say... SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!... who's gonna stop you? President Buchanan - how's that sound?!
BUCHANAN: (unsuccessfully acting uninterested) We need to get you to a hospital right now, that's what's important.
CLINTON: Are yas listening? It's enough money for any one of yas to become President. If any one of yas are interested... (coughing) I'm telling ya...
His coughing grows louder and consumes his whole body, then he suddenly goes still. Bill Clinton, it appears, is gone forever. They all bow their heads in silence. Then all five jump as Clinton's eyes pop wide open! He yells at Dukakis.
CLINTON: Grandma! Grandma! Ma brought home a bartender last night! He spent the night! Ain't she a slut Grandma? Ain't she? Ain't she?
MONDALE: Holy cow! He's reliving his childhood, Mike! He thinks you're his grandmother! Answer him!
DUKAKIS: But I don't wanna...
Clinton appears awake, but his mind is completely gone. He stares at Dukakis insanely and awaits his answer.
CLINTON: Ain't she a slut Grandma? Ain't she!
DUKAKIS: Um... yes Billy... ummm... your mother is quite promiscuous...
CLINTON: A SLUT?!?!
DUKAKIS: Why yes, Billy... a ummm... slut...
Clinton smiles gently, then turns and grabs Buchanan's arm, pulling him in.
CLINTON: Ma! Did you hear that! Grandma says you're a slut! You're not gonna take that, are you?! Are you?!
Buchanan looks at the others, unsure of what to say. They all just shrug. Buchanan looks back at Clinton, who beseeches a response with his eyes.
CLINTON: I can't believe you're gonna take that, Ma! Grandma says you're a slut! I heard her Mamma... she called ya a slut, she did! I can't believe Grandma said that... A slut?! (bites his lip and implores a response with his eyes)... that's really uncalled for, Ma...
BUCHANAN: Well... ya know... uhhhh... we all have our differences... but... a slut, huh?...a SLUT!?... WELL... that old BITCH better shut her big FAT TRAP, Billy!!! If she knows what's good fer her, THAT BITCH'LL SHUT HER BIG FAT MOUTH, 'FORE I SHUT IT FOR HER!! I SWEAR BILLY, I'LL TEAR HER GODDAMNED FACE OFF!!!!
CLINTON: YES!!! Tell her Mamma!! Oooooh...that makes me so freakin' horny! I just GOTTA get me a young honey... say it again, Mamma... (fading) say... it... again...
Clinton's head falls back, then his body goes through one final violent convulsion and he falls back dead. As he does, he boots the old dented bucket that lies by his feet. The other five men watch in silence as the bucket bounces down further into the ravine. It finally stops at the feet of Monica Lewinsky, who is standing there in a tattered dress.
STEPHANOPOULIS: Monica!! Were you in that car?! Oh my God!! What happened to you?
MONICA: I got thrown from the car when we hit. I must have bounced twenty times, but I don't think I broke anything... I need a little help getting up this hill, though...
Suddenly, with a small yelp, Buchanan pulls his arm back from the still clinging corpse of Bill Clinton. All the men look down at the deceased former president, shaken and stunned by the turn of events. Though they all maintain a heavyhearted facade, they are all quietly mulling over what they've just heard. A wailing bagpipe rises mournfully on the soundtrack, but as the camera pans across their contemplative faces, the dirge slowly mutates into the familiar strands of "Hail to the Chief".
STEPHANOPOULIS: Shouldn't we cover him up?
DUKAKIS: Do you think there was anything to what he was saying? Do you think he was telling the truth?
GORE: Of course not! (pointing) He's nobody's mamma! He's Pat Buchanan!
MONDALE: Not that part, you idiot! The part about the money! (turning to the others) Well? Was there any truth to it?!
BUCHANAN: Nah... he never told the truth about nuthin'. No reason to believe him now.
From high on the road above them, we hear the wail of an approaching siren. A large black van screeches to a stop next to their cars. Two men jump out, wearing jackets with "ATF" written in large white letters on the back. As the five men below continue talking, the men above begin setting up a large tripod.
STEPHANOPOULIS: Listen... that's the feds. I don't wanna get stuck here all day answering questions. It's bad enough that I got to explain to my wife that her father was killed... and just wait till my mother-in-law hears that the alimony's history!
BUCHANAN: I got a moving van full of stuff that I gotta get to Richmond. I don’t have time to answer a bunch of questions...
MONDALE: Yeah, me and Mike can't get stuck here all day either. We're on our way to -
Suddenly, bullets start ringing off the rocks all around them as they scramble for cover behind boulders. The shot switches to the top of the hill, behind the machine gun tripod the ATF agents have set up. The machine gunner sweeps the weapon back and forth, spraying bullets into all corners of the ravine. As the agent pauses, we hear Stephanopoulis screaming.
STEPHANOPOULIS: HEY! HEY! CUT IT OUT!! WE'VE GOT POLITICIANS DOWN HERE!!
AGT. ABBELLO: (Smacking the agent manning the machine gun) Cease fire! Cease fire, cowboy! (yelling) You say you guys are politicians?
MONDALE: Yes! I'm a former Vice-President goddammit!!
GORE: I am one also.
ABBELLO: Oh! Sorry. We thought you were regular civilians. You know... onlookers or something.
DUKAKIS: Well be more careful next time! You coulda killed one of us!
COOPER: Sorry!
As the men watch, Agent Cooper scrambles down into the ravine to inspect the situation. He runs over to the body of Bill Clinton, grabs his wrist, then lets the dead arm drop in disgust. He looks up and yells to his supervisor.
COOPER: HE'S DONE! (turns to the others) How long ago did this happen?
DUKAKIS: (feverishly nervous) Ten minutes ago... or five... I think it was fifteen minutes ago...
MONICA: (off screen) I can’t get up this hill without a little bit of help...
COOPER: Was he already dead when you got down here?
GORE: Yes... practically.
COOPER: (very interested) So he was alive! Did he say anything?
MONDALE: About what?
Agent Cooper slowly draws his pistol, as Agent Abbello arrives at the crash site.
COOPER: (spinning the barrel of his revolver) What did he say?!
DUKAKIS: (spooked) He thought I was his grandmother!
COOPER: What did you say to him?
DUKAKIS: Well, I told him... (pointing at Buchanan) I told him Pat was a slut!
BUCHANAN: You better SHUT YOUR FAT TRAP, DUKAKIS...
ABBELLO: Easy there big fella... Did he say anything about... oh, I don't know... (now, menacingly drawing his gun, too) China, maybe? (waving it towards Dukakis) Or secret hiding places?
BUCHANAN: NO! We're leaving NOW! We only tried to help...
MONICA: Maybe one of you could get a rope or something...
ABBELLO: All right, Mr. Buchanan... take it easy... (pointing his gun at Dukakis) But, you better not be keeping any secrets...
DUKAKIS: AAAAHHHHH!!!!
Buchanan shoots a glare at the ATF officers, and starts to shove Dukakis back up the hill. The others all follow, scurrying up the hill and leaving the two ATF officers alone.
ABBELLO: Oh boy... Reno ain't gonna like this! So... who's gonna be the one to call him?
COOPER: You're in charge! You call him!. He doesn't take bad news well.
MONICA: A little help, please...
ABBELLO: I know, he's a prick. But we didn't do anything wrong! Janet knows Clinton was slicker than a greased pig!
COOPER: Didn't smell much better either. I'll break the news to Reno - boy, he's gonna go ballistic.
The agents turn and start the trek back up the hill. In the background, we see the five men reaching the top and stepping on to the road. The shot switches to the men, just as the last of them steps past the broken guardrail and onto the road. They are all winded, and Stephanopoulis looks like he may faint from the strain. While they catch their breath, each man glances furtively at the others, wondering if they have the same thoughts running through their heads. When any of them catch eyes, they glance down quickly and assume a blandly casual look. Five hopelessly bad poker players, wondering who will show their cards first.
I love the part when he tries to batter down the wall.....Sid makes one his incomparable funny faces.
or watch Survivor & Big Brother. )
Me, too. Desert island disc.
I have the Criterion Collection Blu-ray, a gift of my wife. A great package!
Cheers,
Jim
Jerry Lewis.
Saw a picture of the “W” palms. They’ve been chain sawed down to stumps.
Why would the ants care if you paid or not? ;)
Well they didn’t try to sting the people who did pay.
You mean there really IS one!
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