Posted on 09/09/2016 5:37:46 PM PDT by Chickensoup
My son 21 is courting a wonderful young woman20. She is educated, motivated, traveled, religious, warm, intelligent, thoughtful and attractive.
My son likes her very much. She likes him very much.
They both are hearing family and friends tell them not to marry so early. She will have a great job with a great future. My son will have a baseline investment income and can work full or part time as the family needs.
He is disorganized and would do well yoked. She seems to enjoy his eccentricities. I am encouraging early marriage. Would like to hear Freeper opinion on early marriage in today's marriage marketplace.
“Yoked” is a great term. It has a lot of subtle underlying meaning.
Bible-y folks will experience that word in a different way than non-Bible-y folks.
It does not imply “chained”, but rather “connected”.
I think that’s awesome.
Tell him to give her an engagement ring in one year and marry her two years after that. If it lasts until the marriage it will probably be good.
If a parent has to tell her / his kid how to manage his love life - he is in no way ready for marriage. He has not grown up yet.
They can have a house and a vacation home within 3 years? That’s a lot of debt, including college loans for under 25 years old.
My second marriage came six months later to a woman I had not met until after my first wife passed. We had 29 blessed years in a marriage many would not have given much of a chance due to her severe disabilities that developed suddenly when we were dating. We never dated a conventional date. We'd go to the movies etc and her girls 12 & 14 at the time were always with us which I didn't mind.
We had our struggles especially our first year then things settled our. We were adjusting to her disabilities and being married. The thing is we didn't give up and kept GOD in the equation. She passed early last year we didn't quite make it to 30 years. 21 & 20 isn't too young IMO.
I envision meddlesome M-i-Ls on both sides.
If the son went online and asked if he’s too young to get married, that’s one thing. But it’s THE mother asking that question!! Yikes!!
The son should move out ASAP. Become a man, prove that he can provide, find out a bit about himself. Then and only then should he entertain the thought of marriage. Right now he’s mom’s little boy.
If there Christians, marry and make babies,please!!
Great article. appreciate the post.
In my opinion he needs to get himself organized and able to work full time before he marries.
So they like each other very much. I like my insurance agent very much.
Your son is disorganized so you think a person who is 20 years old can fix that.
I don’t mean to sound rude but I would not push these two individuals to marry.
Marriage is very tough. The only reason you should marry someone is if you cannot bear the thought of being without them.
Many of us have been married and are still married to our first spouse after many, many, years. Today the influences on young people are beyond anything I could have imagined at 17. Those who commented on the legal system are quite right. Men are discriminated against regarding legal disputes involving spouse as well as their children. I have seen the bitterness from both ex wives and ex husbands that is genuine and deep. Nothing can guarantee a good marriage at any age. It is the responsibility of the two individuals to make the decision of committing to each other for a lifetime. We parents can only encourage and advise our children and pray for the best. A marriage can be good or hellish, and can also affect others beyond the couple involved, but in the end the couple themselves are responsible for their own lives. Age has always been relevant to a point but those in love should not overthink that aspect.
If he is a devout pious Christian then premarital sex is not an issue and things should be easier
If not then he truly needs to be beyond the nag of desiring to experience sex with a fair number of women before a lifetime commitment to one
And regardless even if that’s easy he will have to know that some time down the road things will test a marriage to its limits and beyond
The odds are against him but not insurmountable
Feminism and a sexualized culture and divorce laws have made marriage perilous for men big time
50 years ago women really believed in devoting themselves to their marriage
That ship has sailed
The danger for men is other women ....some are diabolical and will make themselves readily available to married men
Today young women often screw first and get to know you later if they feel like it
It’s nutz a hard time for marriage for young folks without strong faith and family
“The only reason you should marry someone is if you cannot bear the thought of being without them.”
Your comments relates to my definitions of “love” and “lust”.
Many get married due to lust, a strong sexual desire as well as other common interests. They can also enjoy sex with others with little or no conscience.
Folks that are in love and get married cannot bear the thought of being without the other, and will conduct themselves in such a manner that protects that interest.
Can they talk to each other about each other’s flaws without wanting to kill each other? Are they both willing to change their habits to make their lives better together? Do they know each other’s political leanings and true world views?
I think what often happens is that two people enter into a marriage thinking they won’t have to change their behavior or not really know in the other person deep down. Suddenly they wake up realizing though they still love the other person that they aren’t really who they want.
She how well they can communicate with one another over the phone, through handwritten letters or emails.
If you want to see if a couple is compatible have them open a joint checking account and have them put ALL their money into it.
Most marriages break up over money matters. The statistics show that it is far and away the leading cause of failed marriages.
If one of them is reluctant to put their money into the joint account then there are serious doubts forming in the relationship and it is time to cool down and take things slowly.
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