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Opinions on Early Marriage Please? My Son is Courting a Wonderful Young Woman.
09.09.16 | chickensoup

Posted on 09/09/2016 5:37:46 PM PDT by Chickensoup

My son 21 is courting a wonderful young woman20. She is educated, motivated, traveled, religious, warm, intelligent, thoughtful and attractive.

My son likes her very much. She likes him very much.

They both are hearing family and friends tell them not to marry so early. She will have a great job with a great future. My son will have a baseline investment income and can work full or part time as the family needs.

He is disorganized and would do well yoked. She seems to enjoy his eccentricities. I am encouraging early marriage. Would like to hear Freeper opinion on early marriage in today's marriage marketplace.


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KEYWORDS: marriage
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To: reaganaut

My friends were all following the timetable. They lost.


141 posted on 09/09/2016 6:54:25 PM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ([CTRL]-[GALT]-[DELETE])
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To: Chickensoup

Treat them as adults, support their decision, and welcome any babies that come along...and you’ll have your happy ending.


142 posted on 09/09/2016 6:54:50 PM PDT by utahagen
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To: Mrs. Don-o

LMAO


143 posted on 09/09/2016 6:56:21 PM PDT by Doogle (( USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: reaganaut

Where you get the idea I hate women? I love them! Knowing that its idiotic to put one in a position of legal superiority doesn’t make me a woman hater.

At the moment the state contract is signed a massive judo flip happens and now he is at her mercy, legally speaking. Maybe she’s a nice girl who uses her power with kindness. But she can destroy his life in an instant, and she knows it.


144 posted on 09/09/2016 6:57:07 PM PDT by DesertRhino (Dogs are man's best friend, and moslems hate dogs. Add that up....)
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To: reaganaut
Ignore the bitter woman hater.

Grammatically ambiguous, in an amusing kind of way.

Ignore the bitter person who hates women

vs.

Ignore the person who hates bitter women.

I suspect what he was reacting to was your earlier post, which exhibited a
fair degree of solipsism, i.e. that because YOU had a successful business
and managed to cash out in time to beat the biological clock, ...
that it is peforce a good idea for MOST women to become a cubicle drone.

Apples and oranges: most cubicle drones don't make enough to retire without having to work ever again by about age 40.

Apples and Oranges.

Further, if they went to college (Griggs case substituting a sheepskin for an IQ test as screening for employment), they're probably going to have to work quite awhile to pay off the student debt:

if they do, they're too busy or tired to look for guys, or only seek guys above them as mates;

if they settle for a mundane job track, they'll have more time and not be so picky, but then have a lot of student debt, which makes them less desirable.

Just because women demand that men change their preferences to suit the Feminist Script, doesn't mean the men are obligated, or are likely, to play along.

I've known several women at my job who dropped out of the workforce entirely, OR dropped to half time, in order to devote their energies to their preschool children. Would that such an attitude were encouraged *more*.

145 posted on 09/09/2016 6:57:42 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Chickensoup

“today’s marriage marketplace”

As long as they know how to remain committed to each other and to their children they will make it regardless of the times.

The only difference in the times of today outside of that is the form of the temptations they need to avoid.


146 posted on 09/09/2016 6:57:47 PM PDT by fruser1
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To: Chickensoup

I don’t think this is “early marriage”. They seem to love and understand each other and are over 20 years old.

Best wishes and help them get a good start.


147 posted on 09/09/2016 6:58:56 PM PDT by Innovative ("Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." -- Vince Lombardi)
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To: Chickensoup

absolutely not in the next 3 years. While she sounds grounded and possible ready, until your son has picked a direction and is grounded the tension of being married could cause problems.

Most marriages will end in divorce. I’m not saying they should break up, but each needs to find their path before marriage. My not nice was just married at 26 after dating for 8 years, I have no doubt they will be fine. Until they have jobs and dated a few years I’d even discourage living together


148 posted on 09/09/2016 6:59:10 PM PDT by waynesa98
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To: DCBryan1

YES...and I am a single woman who adopted her first child at age 39...AND it has all worked out alright...yet, you are CORRECT...marry young...marry in the CHURCH...have children young...ask God for help...He will help you.


149 posted on 09/09/2016 6:59:12 PM PDT by utahagen
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To: reaganaut

I think the OP simply used the term ‘yoked’ in the sense of having the young man Centered. Marriage does that to everyone, male or female. It’s certainly better for a young man to be committed to one young woman whom he loves, than to be running around spending himself all over the place, with no goal or commitment.

None of us knows whether any enterprise that we embark upon is going to be a ‘success’. We just have to go forward, in faith; and whatever happens, if our intentions are for the good and we keep ourselves on the ‘straight-and-narrow’, there is personal growth.

-JT


150 posted on 09/09/2016 7:00:36 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, If you can keep it.")
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To: Chickensoup

“My son 21 is courting a wonderful young woman20. She is educated, motivated, traveled, religious, warm, intelligent, thoughtful and attractive. “

I was 21, she was 20......3 GREAT,problem free kids, lost her to cancer after 51 wonderful years...Course that was back in late 50s...............


151 posted on 09/09/2016 7:01:23 PM PDT by litehaus (A memory toooo long)
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To: grey_whiskers

Actually I wasn’t trying to beat the clock. I gave up. And my point is that he should not try to put all women in the same category because they (for whatever reason) do not have kids in their 20s. Neither are all women ‘cubical drones’ nor finish college with student debt.


152 posted on 09/09/2016 7:02:05 PM PDT by reaganaut (I'm looking forward to Trump as President. I'm an Evangelical and I vote.)
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To: Chickensoup

Wow you got so many replies

My son at 18 married his wife age 19. Just celebrated their tenth anniversary. It’s been great.

My daughter at 19 is engaged to marry her boyfriend age 21.

Obviously I am pro early marriage.

If you are one of the few Americans who still believe fornicatorbyou go to hell, like the Bible says, then let people marry. That’s the solution for lust. Not porn or etc.

I married at 18 myself. Worked out fine.


153 posted on 09/09/2016 7:03:03 PM PDT by Persevero (NUTS)
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To: DesertRhino

Actually, in my experience it can be the other way around.


154 posted on 09/09/2016 7:03:38 PM PDT by reaganaut (I'm looking forward to Trump as President. I'm an Evangelical and I vote.)
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To: Chickensoup

Many early Mormon women married Young...
Ba-dum-tsshhh!
Thank you, I’ll be here all week...


155 posted on 09/09/2016 7:04:18 PM PDT by SparkyBass
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To: reaganaut

Not bitter. I see our system here and it is way broken.

Point out ehat I said that was wrong.


156 posted on 09/09/2016 7:07:47 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Chickensoup
They do Love each other, I was being circumspect.

In that case I agree with you. Don't see any reason to wait.

157 posted on 09/09/2016 7:09:31 PM PDT by Jaxter (Si vis pacem para bellum.)
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To: Secret Agent Man
I wanted to warn you Chickensoup, that there are many women haters here on FR...I don't know if they are homosexuals, or muslims, or pedophiles, or just plain old ugly lacking charm and any other redeeming qualities....

but they're here....

so be prepared for negativity...

my advice is for them to just wait a tad longer, since she's still is school...I think young people need a year out of school to really find out what they want....she's very young, so is he...they have time...

for myself, I married the one and only and this year is our 42nd...he was 23 and I was 21....

a great happy life is out there for them IF they marry with the same values, purpose, and are companions as well as the physical part....

158 posted on 09/09/2016 7:09:32 PM PDT by cherry
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To: Chickensoup

What’s the rush?

They should wait and just date until both are financially stable. Each should observe how the other makes decisions, makes and spends money and solves problems. What if they disagree on these big things and can’t compromise?

Also, I cannot emphasize this enough: Get to know the future in laws, especially the mother. I know many couples where issues with the mother are a MAJOR problem. I recently told my niece she should ban her mother in law from her home-—it’s that bad. Unfortunately, she barely knew the mother when dating due to distance. Now that they’re married she’s a bigger presence and it’s awful.

Also, don’t settle on the first person you meet until you’re sure. How many people do you know that meet their soulmate after they’re married?


159 posted on 09/09/2016 7:10:28 PM PDT by ZagFan
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To: reaganaut
You still had the *money* at that point: not all people without their own business, have that luxury.

Also...I though I read in your post, you'd been *trying* for children for quite sometime. If so, that's different from *avoiding* them till the mid-30's as well.

minor nitpick because I'm like that: "cubicle drones" not "cubical drones" : the latter really is overdoing "being square"... ;-)

160 posted on 09/09/2016 7:11:22 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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