Posted on 07/22/2016 6:37:43 PM PDT by xzins
What's it like to fire a Daisy BB gun? It's an experience I'll never forget. Everybody knows BB guns are scary looking and ought to be banned, but I thought I would try to shoot one without any preconceived notions. What I encountered changed me forever.
I took a deep breath and determined to enter a Wal-Mart. A "greeter" met me with, "Howdy, welcome to Wal-Mart." I'm from the north. We don't say "Howdy". I sneer back at the microaggression and strain to hold back tears of rage. Barely controlling myself, I asked where I could find a BB gun. He directed me to "sporting goods," still smiling and gloating over his slyly delivered offense.
I go to the "sporting goods" section, a perfect charnel house where implements of sulfur, death, and destruction are openly and brazenly sold. I notice a BB gun just lying on a shelf. I reach for it as if it was a poisonous snake, wondering if it will go off when I pull it off the shelf. That's right, a shelf. Where anybody could get it.
I go to the counter and the death merchant asks me if I wanted BBs to go with it. He even had the audacity to offer me "Copperhead" brand BBs! How could this inbred hick not know that I see a therapist twice a week to treat my herpephobia?
I buy the gun and the recommended BBs. I'm dizzy going out to the parking lot. A passing stranger, attired in a camouflage assault t-shirt, asks, "Sir, you okay?" "How dare you assume my gender!" I shout back. "Sorry, just checkin'," he said as if my health was any of his business. But the worst was yet to come.
I went to a wooded area to fire the BB gun, a Daisy 509 Buck, probably made by Bushmaster. I bruised my knuckles operating the cocking lever. Taking aim, I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and pulled the trigger. The sound of the spring loaded plunger going "boing" startled me. I became disoriented watching the BB arc towards its target. The "dink!" sound it made bouncing off a coke can was horribly loud. The recoil was horrendous, like a bazooka or some other recoilless weapon, and it dislocated my shoulder. I vomited and cried. I still have PTSD. Anxiety. Irritability. Nightmares. I may never again be the same.
But enough about me, at least for now. Worst of all, these weapons of mass destruction are available to the general public. It's time we stopped listening to the paid lobbyists of the National BB Gun Association who assure us that BB guns are hardly ever used in the commission of a crime. They scare me, they should scare you, and they ought to be banned.
Guns don’t kill people...
trucks kill people
It will put your eye out.
so will a stick
“It will put your eye out.”
As a kid, we had a rule to never shoot above the neck in our BB battles...
The iconic Daisy BB gun is made in China. Not sarcasm, truth.
You need to talk to the NFL about tackling.
You get punched in the eye hard enough you can go blind.
We had the same rule. I got in lot of trouble when I came home with that spider web on my glasses! I still have that model 25 with the dent in the stock from another adventure.
Don’t forget to lose your BB gun in a “tragic boating accident”.
SemiAutomatic Assault BB Gun?
I think this is satire, boys. Check out the WEB page.
Ask Ralphie.
I take it the spider web on your glasses didn’t happen during the winter, so that you could blame it on an icicle that fell off the garage?
This is a line in a movie about a kid that gets a bb gun for Christmas, He ends up breaking his glasses and goes through a lot of stress with the bb gun.
Can't tell you how many BB gun fights I was in! LOL
The back of the ear was always favorite aiming point for me. After all the cheap-O BB guns didn't hurt much unless you hit something tender.
It wasn't like getting into a rock war down at the railroad trestle.
BB gun? tHAT’S AN ar-15 to libs! Hide!
Agreed....but satire is often used effectively as an editorial.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.