Posted on 03/25/2016 7:02:05 PM PDT by dynachrome
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at WalMart for my dogs Shadow and Lady.
I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think, that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that No, I didnt have a dog - that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldnt because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, Id lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, She asked : Did you end up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned you?
I said: No not at all; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass and a car hit me.
The guy behind her was laughing so hard, I thought he was going to have a heart attack!
Walmart wont let me shop there anymore.
LOL!
My son liked it, too!
That would’ve gone over better if you hadn’t been in Hudson, WI... ;-)
Frickin Packers!
Incidentally, I've always thought there was a certain resemblance:
A good laugh when everything seems so bleak around here! Thanks!
I was running a TLE a couple years ago when a guy came in with a truck battery that he wanted to return. I told him that three things kept me from approving the return. 1 You don't have the receipt, 2 That battery is at least three years old (at this point he pointed to the five year warranty sign on the battery rack) AND 3, That is a Duralast battery from Autozone and security is on the way.
Funny! :D
Soooo funny! :D
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