It's okay, you can laugh.
It’s not that funny.
Laughter ensues
No hairballs for a week?
RIMSHOT!
So a week without mice for breakfast?
One night the older sister of twin brothers convinced them it was time they learned to curse like real farmhands. She helped them practice quietly in their room that evening until they were sure they were ready for the big day. They got up that morning and dressed as usual and went down to breakfast.
Their mother asked the first twin what he wanted for breakfast and he put on his best farmhand voice and said “I
think I’ll have a bowl of them damn Cheerios”
The mother, without a word grabbed the boy by his shirt collar, drug him to the sink and washed his mouth out with laundry soap, spanked him and sent him back to his room. She then turned to the second twin and asked him what he wanted for breakfast.
His wide eyed reply was; “It sure as Hell won’t be Cheerios!”
It's okay, you can laugh.
All this reminds me of my first mother-in-law, who was a 5-year-old girl in Orebro, Sweden, when the first automobile came to town.
After seeing one in the town square she ran eight blocks to the home of a professor she liked and urged him, “Come quickly. There’s a carriage in the town square that doesn’t need a horse. It’s called an ‘automobile’”!
“Don’t be silly, Ingrid,” said the professor. “There can’t be any such thing. ‘Auto’ is Greek and ‘Mobile’ is Latin.”
And then he closed the door and went back to bed.
http://www.wnd.com/2015/08/anti-trumpians-just-dont-get-it/#i73xLwleLfGZLKUM.99 (It’s a Trump joke)
Ice Cthream Anyone?
All that reading for THAT punchline? Meh
So cute. LOL!
Er, I don’t get it.
“You don’t get to clean the turds out of the flower pot for a week”, isn’t really a good punch line. The conceptual continuity breaks with your punch line. If you put the words “chicken”, “pig”, and “cow” into the lead in to the joke it makes it all the more ridiculous; in fact, this is not even considered a joke, but a bit of word play, and at best a desperate try for a spoonerism-joke, and it just fails miserably at that.
Most have probably heard this one, but I think it’s kinda funny: (It’s a littlee bit smutty, so those who take offense; please forgive)
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Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, ‘Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.’
...The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, ‘I’d calm down if I were you.’
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, ‘Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!’
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, ‘You probably don’t want to do that! I really don’t think you should make him mad.’
‘Rubbish,’ replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
‘What a ferocious creature!’ exclaimed the young, fried alien. ‘He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?’
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, ‘If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my intergalactic travels, you don’t want to mess with a guy who can wrap his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear.’
Thanks for the chuckle. :)
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Chores before breakfast? Is that what it’s like on a farm? Terrible.