A Modest Proposal: The Thread Hijack Drinking Game [vanity]

Still me. | Today | Me

[Slings and Arrows]

The time has come to take action against thread hijackers.

Let me begin with an example of thread hijacking:

Like most Freepers, I am pro-life. Abortion and and euthanasia appall me, and marketing the results even more so. I support candidates who oppose the culture of death, and cheer when it is thwarted.

I also do not find it necessary to mention these facts on EVERY. FREAKING. THREAD.

There is a certain type of Freeper, though, who has no such restraint. For these zealots, any thread that deviates from the pro-life cause, no matter how trivially, is a heresy that must be immediately suppressed.

You are shocked by cruelty to animals? I guess that means you couldn't care less about the cruelty of THE MILLIONS OF CHILDREN ABORTED EVERY YEAR!!!!!

You lost a beloved pet? Why can't you mourn THE THOUSANDS OF ABORTED BABIES WHO DIED THE SAME DAY?!!!!

Your car shredded its transmission and you're looking at thousands of dollars in repairs? Why aren't you thinking about THE BABIES WHO WILL NEVER GROW UP TO BE AUTO MECHANICS BECAUSE THEY WERE ABORTED?!!!!

(OK, maybe I made that last one up.)

Arguing with these people is pointless. It's the same principle as wrestling with a pig - you just get muddy and the pig enjoys it. Similarly, trying to convince them that they are being rude is a waste of time - THE CAUSE is far more important little things like courtesy and respect.

So, what can we do about it?

We can get drunk.

I hereby propose The Thread Hijack Drinking Game. The rules are simple: When a poster tries to hijack an unrelated thread to his or her pet cause, you 1) reply to the hijack attempt by quoting the text in question, followed by the word "DRINK!", and 2) Take a drink (or any volume) of your favorite beverage (alcoholic or non-alcoholic). Moderation is suggested on animal cruelty threads to avoid alcohol poisoning.

This game will not, I admit, solve the thread hijacking problem. But after a certain number of attempts we will no longer care.

And if anyone is offended by my little proposal, I can only say...

DRINK!

[Tax-chick]

I was so much older then: I’m younger than that now.

[Monkey Face]

See? LOL!

I just went to make a salad and the salad pack I bought (bag of chopped lettuce) was bad. I had forgotten it. Now, I can’t have a light lunch. *sigh* And of course, I’m out of rice pudding...

My brems, Cisco, where they went?

[ArGee]

I was just sayin’ that if she can’t keep ‘em buried with all her experience lying, obfusticating, obstructing justice, and being general all-around bad news then you haven’t had NEARLY the practice to keep ‘em down.

[ArGee]

We’re doing something wrong if you have some idea of what the original topic was and how far we’ve strayed from it.

[ArGee]

Peter Parker AKA Spider-Man in the worst movie of all time.

OK, maybe not as bad as “Attack of the Killer Tomatos” but it’s sure competing.

[ArGee]

I remember the light lunch from the Phantom Tollbooth. I think that would be totally cool.

I think God planned it that we don’t learn most of life’s lessons untl we’re too lazy to slit our wrists.

[ArGee]

Everything I needed to know in life I learned in college:

• If someone says something you don't like, scream at them and make them go away.
• If someone has something you want, take it. If they complain, call them names.
• Don't try to hard and blame someone else when you fail.
• Money isn't everything and if someone has more money than you do it's totally unfair and they must be punishes.
• If a man says something nice to you and holds a door open that's microagression but if a thug calls you a b*tch and rapes you you need to be culturally sensitive.
• Take what you can, do no work, cry whenever things don't go your way and above all

  demand to be treated like an adult while acting like a @#*! baby!

Did I miss anything?

[Tax-chick]

Ah, thank you.

[Tax-chick]

I’m going to take a nap with a cat now.

[ArGee]

Izzatwhy they call it a cat nap?

I knever knew.

[Monkey Face]

Or to old to find the right vein...

[Monkey Face]

I hope you nap was good! Catz are nice to sleep with.

[NoCmpromiz]

umm..

When the long story includes vignettes such as ‘up all night’, sleep in truck’, and ‘security guard check’ it usually tends to be due to a major annoyance at best and a catastrophe (of which all versions are major) at worst..

Praying all is ok..

[ArGee]

Right, or that.

[ArGee]

[ArGee]

[Tax-chick]

It was pretty nice. Jake was extremely happy to be with me. Shannon is still my favorite, though.

[Tax-chick]

Those look like ferrets.

[ArGee]

I guess that explains the price.

[Tax-chick]

I never thought to investigate what those animals cost.