Posted on 06/19/2015 5:58:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Be very careful when baby is cooking with Dad. . . that is be sure baby isn't what's for dinner!
When kids get older, there is a reason why they'll remember play time with Dads more..
It's clear what's going on when kids are with Mom, but what the hell are they doing with Dad? Turning into little slaves?
Guess which parent a kid will learn to ride a two-wheeler faster with?
At amusement parks, Dad always seems to have MORE FUN than anyone else in the family.
Careful. . . Baby might be left behind in a zoo with the animals, when going with Dad.
Dad will dress kids in costumes ONLY adults understand and can laugh about.
Have you ever wondered how Dad is able to do the grocery shopping so DAMN QUICKLY?
Never mind ever having table manners. . . "Manners" don't exist in Dad's book.
Dads certainly have a "hands on" approach to this difficult baby time. Don't worry about Mom's onion, it numbs the gums.
16 All Time Funniest Dad Texts (warning: language)
Now for some funny riddles:
1. Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?
2. What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
3. What 5- letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
4. There are 3 switches downstairs. Each corresponds to one of the three light bulbs in the attic. You can turn the switches on and off and leave them in any position. How would you identify which switch corresponds to which light bulb if you are only allowed one trip upstairs
5. I am very heavy but, backwards I’m not. What am I?
6. A cowboy rides into town on Friday; he stays two days and leaves on Saturday. How can this be?
7. Where does afternoon come before morning?
8. What has a face and two hands, but no arms and legs?
9. I come one in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years. What am I?
10. What gets wetter as it dries?
11. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?
12. Try to re-arrange the letters of NEW DOOR to make one word.
13. A basket contains 5 apples. How can you divide the apples among 5 kids so that each child has an apple and one apple stays in the basket?
Things I trust More Than Hillary Clinton...
* Mexican tap water
* A rattlesnake with a pet me sign
* OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection
* A fart when I have diarrhea
* An elevator ride with Ray Rice
* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby
* Michael Jackson’s Doctor
* An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran
* A Palestinian on a motorcycle
* Gas station Sushi
* A Jimmy Carter economic plan
* Brian Williams news reports
* Loch Ness monster sightings
* Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton
* An Obama endorsement
Leni
Wifey uses all of those, and then tends to get pissed at me when I axe, “What are you talking about?”
Spock and Son.
LOL!!!
According to medical research, laughter is the best medicine, giggling is good for mild infections, chuckling works for minor cuts and bruises, and snickering only makes things worse!
What difference, at this point, does it make
That's just scary and wrong.
I might have to dust off my Cthulhu sign and update it for 2016
Either way. I thought the answer was, “He changed horses.”
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.