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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 06/19/2015 5:58:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

In honor of Fathers Day
Here are some ways moms and dads take care of their kids differently...

Be very careful when baby is cooking with Dad. . . that is be sure baby isn't what's for dinner!

When kids get older, there is a reason why they'll remember play time with Dads more..

It's clear what's going on when kids are with Mom, but what the hell are they doing with Dad? Turning into little slaves?

Guess which parent a kid will learn to ride a two-wheeler faster with?

At amusement parks, Dad always seems to have MORE FUN than anyone else in the family.

Careful. . . Baby might be left behind in a zoo with the animals, when going with Dad.

Dad will dress kids in costumes ONLY adults understand and can laugh about.

Have you ever wondered how Dad is able to do the grocery shopping so DAMN QUICKLY?

Never mind ever having table manners. . . "Manners" don't exist in Dad's book.

Dads certainly have a "hands on" approach to this difficult baby time. Don't worry about Mom's onion, it numbs the gums.



16 All Time Funniest Dad Texts (warning: language)


Now for some funny riddles:

1. Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?

2. What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?

3. What 5- letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

4. There are 3 switches downstairs. Each corresponds to one of the three light bulbs in the attic. You can turn the switches on and off and leave them in any position. How would you identify which switch corresponds to which light bulb if you are only allowed one trip upstairs

5. I am very heavy but, backwards I’m not.  What am I?

6. A cowboy rides into town on Friday; he stays two days and leaves on Saturday.  How can this be?

7. Where does afternoon come before morning?

8. What has a face and two hands, but no arms and legs?

9. I come one in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years.  What am I?

10. What gets wetter as it dries?

11. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly.  What is it?

12. Try to re-arrange the letters of NEW DOOR to make one word.

13. A basket contains 5 apples.  How can you divide the apples among 5 kids so that each child has an apple and one apple stays in the basket?












TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dads; fathers; ofst; trans; transracial
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To: Lucky9teen

From Torrington Wyoming...gonna be moving to Saratoga Wyoming..I’m an artist.


121 posted on 06/19/2015 9:34:27 PM PDT by wyokostur
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To: Lucky9teen

I think she’s wearing a wig.


122 posted on 06/20/2015 4:34:02 AM PDT by Twinkie (John 3:16)
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To: Lucky9teen

Ahh, but it’s a dry heat. I lived in Phoenix for a number of years in my younger days . . . back when there was empty space between all the towns. I do remember how hot it can get there.


123 posted on 06/20/2015 6:03:59 AM PDT by sockhead
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To: Liberty Valance

Thanks for the advice! It has been 20 years since we sold and bought a house, we are rusty on the whole procedure!


124 posted on 06/20/2015 8:49:33 AM PDT by TheConservativeParty (Don't Let The Turkeys Get You Down)
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To: Lucky9teen

Olympia, Wa and I don’t do bugger all (am retired)


125 posted on 06/20/2015 8:01:32 PM PDT by llevrok (To liberals, Treason Is the New Patriotism)
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To: BenLurkin

That cow has it’s ass on the wrong end!


126 posted on 06/22/2015 5:35:02 AM PDT by John O (God Save America (Please))
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To: Nea Wood

#1 EMPTY


127 posted on 06/22/2015 8:02:29 AM PDT by Ingtar (Capitulation is the enemy of Liberty, or so the recent past has shown.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Originally from Puerto Rico, been all over the place, courtesy of Uncle Sam and the Air Force. Settled now in SE Wisconsin, as a husband, daddy and engineer.


128 posted on 06/22/2015 11:35:10 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen

I’m on the Gulf Coast in Seabrook, TX and I’m a bean counter. The winning lottery numbers continue to avoid me.


129 posted on 06/23/2015 9:43:51 AM PDT by girlscout
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