Posted on 06/19/2015 5:58:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Be very careful when baby is cooking with Dad. . . that is be sure baby isn't what's for dinner!
When kids get older, there is a reason why they'll remember play time with Dads more..
It's clear what's going on when kids are with Mom, but what the hell are they doing with Dad? Turning into little slaves?
Guess which parent a kid will learn to ride a two-wheeler faster with?
At amusement parks, Dad always seems to have MORE FUN than anyone else in the family.
Careful. . . Baby might be left behind in a zoo with the animals, when going with Dad.
Dad will dress kids in costumes ONLY adults understand and can laugh about.
Have you ever wondered how Dad is able to do the grocery shopping so DAMN QUICKLY?
Never mind ever having table manners. . . "Manners" don't exist in Dad's book.
Dads certainly have a "hands on" approach to this difficult baby time. Don't worry about Mom's onion, it numbs the gums.
16 All Time Funniest Dad Texts (warning: language)
Now for some funny riddles:
1. Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?
2. What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
3. What 5- letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
4. There are 3 switches downstairs. Each corresponds to one of the three light bulbs in the attic. You can turn the switches on and off and leave them in any position. How would you identify which switch corresponds to which light bulb if you are only allowed one trip upstairs
5. I am very heavy but, backwards I’m not. What am I?
6. A cowboy rides into town on Friday; he stays two days and leaves on Saturday. How can this be?
7. Where does afternoon come before morning?
8. What has a face and two hands, but no arms and legs?
9. I come one in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years. What am I?
10. What gets wetter as it dries?
11. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?
12. Try to re-arrange the letters of NEW DOOR to make one word.
13. A basket contains 5 apples. How can you divide the apples among 5 kids so that each child has an apple and one apple stays in the basket?
Near Salem, OH. Retired.
I’m 68, and worked since I was 18 until my husband asked
me to retire in 1996 and be a full-time homemaker.
That picture of Hillary reminded me of this...
Hillary Takes Muslim Name
TERRORIST ACTIVITY HAS CAUSED HILLARY CLINTON TO TAKE MEASURES IN ORDER TO PROTECT HER CANDIDACY FOR THE 2016 PRESIDENCY.
FOR SECURITY REASONS, HILLARY HAS CHOSEN A MUSLIM NAME.
SO FROM NOW ON, PLEASE USE HER NEW MUSLIM NAME:
SELDOM BIN LAYED
.... as we get closer to the election, we must remember that we cannot trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs ....
The last time she had a simple job to do, she outsourced it to Monica Lewinsky ...
Isn’t her head on the wrong end of the cow?
I could tell you...
But then I would have to kill you.
However, if you need details just contact the Chinese Peoples Liberation Army.
Thread knowledge.
Truck driver.
Along the Santa Fe Trail, western Kansas.
Calgary, Alberta. Full time writer and even moe full time buffoon.
What, no Moe?
Cheers,
Jim
I was wondering that, too! I think I've got most of 'em figured out, just not #1.
I know the hostess, but I don't know the hostess.
I've been retired so long it's almost time to back to work.
OMG, how cool is that?
In the ol days we had Curb Finders on our cars ... they made a little noise when ya found the curb ... I’m thinking she would make a lot more noise when she found anything.
What a bad day ... “Barefoot or Shoes that don’t fit?
I have made decisions like that that haunt me to this day ... However on that day if I were her, I do believe I would have picked barefoot, unless the idiots behind her had a Rule or Regulation then I would have chosen “Stuff it and KMA” but I’m a guy so WTF do I know?
TT
awesome fun
Yesterday it hit 119 in Thermal (2 small towns east of us)...when I walked out of the house to get the mail, the heat felt like it was burning my face.
Leni
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