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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 06/05/2015 5:43:10 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Some OXYMORONS to contemplate ....

Some old…some new…

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, Where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?  

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year Do you sit in front of a dead
tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

I dunno, why do we?

 

 

 

OK, here's a pie chart you can all understand...



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

41 posted on 06/05/2015 8:20:15 AM PDT by CJ Wolf ((optional, printed after your name on post):)
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To: ken in texas; EveningStar; Lucky9teen

What if Taylor Swift sang country (and not pop)? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyLTuYFISZQ


42 posted on 06/05/2015 8:23:04 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: a fool in paradise

43 posted on 06/05/2015 8:24:05 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen
"Yoko? ...it was nothing Sweetie, long time ago."


44 posted on 06/05/2015 8:27:38 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: TexasCajun

45 posted on 06/05/2015 8:29:51 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: JDoutrider

I thought you might like #15


46 posted on 06/05/2015 8:32:09 AM PDT by Baynative (For someone to get something without paying for it, someone else must pay for it without getting it.)
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To: Lucky9teen

47 posted on 06/05/2015 8:36:47 AM PDT by Baynative (For someone to get something without paying for it, someone else must pay for it without getting it.)
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To: Lucky9teen

48 posted on 06/05/2015 8:58:53 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

I wonder how much Evita paid Yoko to say that


49 posted on 06/05/2015 9:07:43 AM PDT by SMARTY ("When you blame others, you give up your power to change." Robert Anthony)
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To: a fool in paradise

50 posted on 06/05/2015 9:45:41 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: SMARTY
Where's the little girl?
51 posted on 06/05/2015 10:07:10 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Liberty Valance
riverdancing chimps photo: Dancing Chimps monkeydance-1.gif
52 posted on 06/05/2015 11:39:36 AM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: all armed conservatives.)
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To: Lucky9teen

52? 53?


53 posted on 06/05/2015 11:39:55 AM PDT by wastedyears (Knights of Sidonia)
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To: wastedyears

What has 9 arms and sucks?

Def Leppard


54 posted on 06/05/2015 11:50:04 AM PDT by wastedyears (Knights of Sidonia)
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To: BenLurkin
Presidents certainly have changed!


55 posted on 06/05/2015 2:38:39 PM PDT by CtBigPat (Free Republic - The grown-ups table of the internet.)
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To: CtBigPat
Washington with a Grinder? Hehehe.

Nice! d:^)

56 posted on 06/05/2015 5:39:31 PM PDT by CopperTop
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To: BenLurkin

LOL. Love it.


57 posted on 06/05/2015 5:57:05 PM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: Lucky9teen
I still love the line attributed to Bill:

"Hell - she's eaten more p*ssy than ah have!"

58 posted on 06/06/2015 8:41:29 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (It ain't a "hashtag"....it's a damn pound sign. ###)
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To: ErnBatavia

Us it Friday yet?


59 posted on 06/06/2015 11:47:35 AM PDT by fantail 1952 (Common sense policy: Help your friends. Whip your enemies. Sort out the rest later.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Ping


60 posted on 06/06/2015 10:12:42 PM PDT by Menehune56 ("Let them hate so long as they fear" (Oderint Dum Metuant), Lucius Accius (170 BC - 86 BC))
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