Posted on 05/31/2015 7:49:46 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine
. . . and he/she happens to have heard of that joke before, what can he/she do? I imagine it's a bad idea for him/her to call BS and refuse to follow the order, right?
-snip-
When my mom worked rotation on OR as a new nurse, she was often sent on errands like "bring back a sterilized fallopian tube." Once she figured out what was going on, she took it as permission to take a coffee break.
Then she got sent out to get a pair of left-handed trauma scissors. So, she went and got coffee. After a few minutes, the circulating nurse came looking for her. Where were the scissors? You mean there's such a thing as left-handed trauma scissors?! Mom would have been in deep trouble, except the circulating nurse glared at the surgeon and told him he was the one who started it, so he'd better suck it up and behave.
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My dad was oiling on a ship when the wiper asked the Third assistant "What is this" pointing to the key to the kilson. (the wrench for removing the nut holding the screw on the propeller shaft.) The third told him it is the Key to the kilson. The wiper asked him where he should put it. The third tole him " ah just take up to the bridge."
The wipper thought what the heck and began to end over end the wrench, they are 5 to 6 feet long. When he got it up to the flying bridge and it hit the deck with a bang the Third Mate turn and asked "what is that." The wiper answered the key to the kilson, where do you want me to put it. The third mates answered just throw the dam thing overboard. The wiper did.
End result. Wiper fired, Third Assistant Engineer and Third Mate had their liciences permanently revoked by the commerce department.
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In the navy, one might be asked to retrieve batteries for the ship’s sound-powered phones.
Also if the ship were passing 0 degrees latitude, first-timers might be invited to report topside if they wished to see the equator.
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One friend of mine, a navy guy, was sent to get a bucket of steam. Six hours later, he came back with a bucket with a lump of dry ice and some water.
Another friend, an Air Force guy, told me the AF fool's errand was to send a rookie to get an ASH receiver. That's the federal stock name for an ashtray with a sliding cover and spring-loaded mount to the plane's wall.
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When I was in the Army Reserve we had private fresh out of training. We were testing some new radios we had recently received when the E-4 we were working with told the private to go back to the commo cage and get a can of squelch. About 10 minutes later he comes running out with a can marked "squelch." We had done this in the past and our sergeant was prepared for us--he wrapped a piece of paper around a can of air and wrote "squelch" on it. Not wanting to lose face we took the can, sprayed some air on the connector on the back of the radio and moved on.
Fast forward 2 months. We're out on our summer training and a captain pulls up with a bad radio. The same E-2 looks it over and says, "Oh, that just needs a can of squelch," and runs off. Good times did not follow.
In fairness to the private, he was trained as a teletype operator, not on voice communications.
Oops! I forgot to supply the link. More stories there.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=626509
Such jokes are a betrayal of trust. The person so duped may never believe the joker again. Nor can anyone else trust that person.
You just pass it on!
In the Air Wing: looking for a spool of flight line.
In the artillery battery: the keys to the phone box or to find a Battery Adjusting Wrench.
Back when I worked in the bindery, the boss sent some idiot on a 200 mile round trip to get a paper stretcher from another shop.
This is a form of hazing that newbies have to go thru to be accepted into the group.
Can easily get out of hand, but when relatively mild I don’t think it’s terribly harmful.
Once handed a new guy a styrofoam cup and asked him to get me half a cup of a particular solvent. Well, of course the solvent went right thru the bottom of the cup like it wasn’t there. Funny at the time.
Perfectly acceptable hazing that goes a long way toward making someone a part of the team.
Yep, the old “find me a stud stretcher” is still used in construction.
The boss actually did need a part from the other shop but couldn’t help but tell the gopher to ask for the paper stretcher. He came back with a box with “Single Sheet separator” written on it.
Don’t forget a.spool of flight line.
In the sixties, I’d take the Greyhound from Camp Pendleton up to L.A. for weekends..........one driver laughingly told me he couldn’t count how many times he’d been saluted.
Can you imagine the laughs that shop had when the gopher kept insisting that he was there to pick up a paper stretcher and not a single sheet separator?
Oh my, now having fun is no longer politically correct. I guess the box of grid squares, a can of track tension and the like are cause for issue.
I suppose giving our new LT ( when I was an Infantry NCO) a ball peen hammer and having him tap the armor of our Bradley for soft spots would be a capital offense.
Going too far, as in the Maritime example, is going too far, but most is just enough to keep folks sane enough to enjoy life!
Whatever!
Sending someone for a bucket of striped paint was a good one. Also, a wire stretcher.
THAT is hilarious. Just think of what would be said if a higher grade officer walked by while that new LT was tapping on the armor of the Bradley.
I was once sent to get a part from Will Call.
Ask for Will Call they said.
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