Man Writes Down Hilarious Things Girlfriend Says While Talking in Her Sleep

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[9thLife]

Reddit user Soggybrick said he finds it quite funny when he hears his girlfriend Samantha talking in her sleep. So funny, in fact, that he's decided to share some of her most notable lines on the Web.

"She just talks sometimes while I'm on the computer late at night," he told ABC News. "So I take notes of them whenever they're absurd or hilarious."

Soggybrick, who's actually a man named James living in New Zealand, wrote down and published some of his favorite lines on Reddit, which include the following:

I want the little clay things that are spread all around.

I can't do anything right now, I'm in the middle of cups.

We can't make the other one, we don't have the bigger machine.

Some random person is testing me.

I need more feet.

You're not worthy of my trust.

I feel like I have keyboards stuck to me.

How much left until the map is finished?

I can't remember why you were going to swap the apples.

Give me the flavorful items.

I can't fall asleep I'll get in trouble. Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed.

The Parmesan doesn't go like that.

[Viking2002]

*rimshot*

[ponygirl]

I was having a weird dream one night that I don’t remember, but it was apparently hilarious because I was giggling. Then my boyfriend started shaking me to wake me up, wanted to know why I was laughing. I tried to tell him what was so funny, but couldn’t because I was laughing so hard, which made it even funnier. I mean that sort of uproarious, snorting laughter where you’re laughing so hard no sound is coming out. Then he started laughing at me and we had tears streaming down our faces and actually ended up falling off the bed. When we both finally got control of ourselves, he goes, “What were you dreaming about that was so funny?” And I honestly could not remember! LOL... Good memories, that one....

[JohnnyP]

No Maidenform Bra dreams?

https://www.pinterest.com/coutureallure/i-dreamed-i-was-maidenform-bra-ads/

[Cowman]

I had a girl slap me once for something I did in her dream.

I still don’t know what it was.

[gitmo]

What is sleep hypnosis?

[outofsalt]

"I had a girl slap me once for something I did in her dream."

My wife will hold my dreamed transgressions against me for hours some days. I, too, sometimes wake up in the mood of my dreams and it surprises me how persistent it can be.

[mrs. a]

Buzzkill incoming!

Is nothing private any more? What will he post next, the funny sounds she makes in the ladies’ room?
Maybe she’s OK with it, but if I was his girlfriend, I would no longer be “sleeping” anywhere near him...if you catch my drift.

[ABN 505]

HMMM Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

[A_Former_Democrat]

My wife doesn’t think so!

[T-Bone Texan]

At a family gathering right now. Your link made many folks cry from laughing just now, while at the same time having a fairly serious dialog about mental illness.

I highly recommend that link to all FReepers. I’m laughing so hard right now bubbles are coming out of my nose!

[T-Bone Texan]

Yes, folks can wake up grumpy from a grumpy dream. Happens to me. Colors my day.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Ah freddled gruntbuggly,

Thy micturations are to me,

As plurdled gabbleblotchits,

On a lurgid bee,

That mordiously hath blurted out,

Its earted jurtles,

Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]

Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,

Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,

And living glupules frart and slipulate,

Like jowling meated liverslime,

Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,

And hooptiously drangle me,

With crinkly bindlewurdles,

Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,

See if I don't.