Posted on 04/19/2015 2:37:37 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Less than one month after my husband and I got married—before I even mailed thank you notes for our wedding gifts—I found myself holding a positive pregnancy test.
Eight and a half months into our marriage, while we were still getting comfortable in our roles as husband and wife, we suddenly became mom and dad. I won’t say that our son was poorly planned—we were both anxious to start our family—but I will say that in hindsight becoming a mother in the same year that you become a wife is not for the weak.
The first year of our son’s life was the most difficult of our marriage to date and it is also the year I learned a very important lesson: My husband must always come before our children.
Don’t get me wrong; I love my kids and would do anything for them. But I love my husband more.
When I share this with my mom friends, it’s usually met with outrage and total shock. After all, this goes against the golden rule of motherhood, the one that tells us being a good parent means sacrificing all for the happiness and well-being of our children.
Putting aside our own needs for theirs is practically a requirement but I’m sorry, I’m just not buying it.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
If nothing else, she just made sure she will be going to a terrible nursing home when she gets old, courtesy of her children.
Most of the time, it shouldn’t even be an issue.
If she puts her kids ahead of her husband she will get old very fast.
The judgement of the parents teaches the children. If she thinks the judgement of the children teaches the parents she will be alone soon.
I’ve heard this advice from professionals but they say the marriage comes first.
That is kinda strange approach. You can always replace a husband or wife if things go wrong. Children are always part of you.
Makes sense ... sort'a
I believe in this principle. In the case of a blended family this becomes much more difficult to figure out.
You are right, but it shouldn't be...
My wife and I raised six children...all adults now...five married and eight grandchildren...
When I said my marriage vows before God and man, I meant it..."till death do us part" except for adultery or abuse
Our children was taught at a very early age "they were not the center of the universe"... their needs and wants take a secondary role to the greater good of the family...
Mom and Dad were there to raise them into decent, loving, caring human beings...putting their every whim and need above all other things including each other certainly would not achieve that goal...
We have lost an entire generation of children to lead selfish, demanding lives to stupid inane parenting skills taught be idiots I would not allow to watch my dog let alone take their moronic advice...
I'm sure you forgot the sarcasm tag...?
I’m assuming a Christian would simply understand that God comes first, but that she’s focused on a particular topic of family. I agree that the leadership team (husband/wife) should be strongly united. The ‘followership’ team should realize the leadership team is inseparably bonded.
Good summary.
In blended families the kids come first. You knew he/she had kids when you married them and you are second or maybe even third as the johnny come lately. And one other thing: keep your hands off the step-kids.
I would beg to differ. My wife and I are raising our daughters to leave. I figure we have a 20 year window in order to help them become fully functioning, productive adults that will contribute to society.
On the other hand, my wife and I are together until death. Making each other a priority will allow us to stay together long after the children are gone.
Parents who cling to their children end up with children who cannot cleave unto their own spouses. It is impossible to be married to a man who cannot leave his mother and father.
You are a paid Russian troll.
Wow, nothing gets by you.
Absolutely correct. A man and women become one flesh in marriage until death parts them. Children are expected to grow up and cleave to someone else.
Our children was taught at a very early age “they were not the center of the universe”... their needs and wants take a secondary role to the greater good of the family...
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Very wise. I hope your children realize how fortunate they are.
Disagree 100%.Of course one’s spouse must always be *very* important on those rare occasions when one *must* choose between spouse and child (and how often do choices like that *really* occur?) the choice must be for the *child’s* best interests.If we were on the Titanic and my wife had to choose if I,or our daughter,would get the last seat on the lifeboat I *know* she would choose,and would *urge* that she choose,our daughter.And if I was forced to make the same decision *I* would choose our daughter.
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