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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 08/22/2014 5:33:38 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Random Silliness

When : On Friday, DUH

Do you know someone that drives like this?


Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question."

"Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'!"

Farmer Joe said, "Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie."

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.

I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"


A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce. He asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

Judge asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."




TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; icebucketchallenge; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen





41 posted on 08/22/2014 7:49:36 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Crop Circle Fail

42 posted on 08/22/2014 7:56:07 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: BenLurkin

...too funny!


43 posted on 08/22/2014 7:56:49 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Preech1

_____ and The Pips
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdN27HzoyO4


44 posted on 08/22/2014 7:57:33 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: mykroar



45 posted on 08/22/2014 8:01:08 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis


46 posted on 08/22/2014 8:12:32 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Lucky9teen

47 posted on 08/22/2014 8:13:49 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Lucky9teen

48 posted on 08/22/2014 8:14:35 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: reed13k; All

49 posted on 08/22/2014 8:16:51 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Lucky9teen

50 posted on 08/22/2014 8:17:08 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
Sometimes you hate to laugh, but can't help it...
51 posted on 08/22/2014 8:26:18 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Lucky9teen

52 posted on 08/22/2014 8:27:01 AM PDT by relentlessly
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To: TexasCajun
Email from the Sultan of Brunai's son to his father after a week away at college:

Dear Father,
Berlin is wonderful! People are nice, and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his father:

My dear loving son,
Twenty million dollars from American and Canadian gas pumps has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us both. Go immediately and get yourself a train too.
Allahu Ackbar, your Father


53 posted on 08/22/2014 8:27:18 AM PDT by Baynative (Free people are not equal, equal people are not free.)
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To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis

This one is hysterical ... I can’t stop watching it!! LMAO


54 posted on 08/22/2014 8:36:41 AM PDT by Fast Moving Angel (It is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind.)
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To: Baynative
Rick Perry Releases Scathing New Video of Drunk Democrat Texas DA Lehmberg Wearing a “Spit Mask”

I love that he's fighting them, using their tactics. Go Perry.
55 posted on 08/22/2014 8:44:59 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis

Quite a trick, accidental or otherwise.


56 posted on 08/22/2014 9:06:01 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: All

Ha! Take that you useless drunken cow!


57 posted on 08/22/2014 9:06:51 AM PDT by 4yearlurker (Some people say that experts agree!!)
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To: Arrowhead1952

LOL!


58 posted on 08/22/2014 9:09:23 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: BenLurkin

59 posted on 08/22/2014 9:09:41 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (ISIS has started up a slave trade in Iraq. Mission accomplshed, Barack, Mission accomplished.)
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To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis

Hope he survived!


60 posted on 08/22/2014 9:10:32 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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