Posted on 07/03/2014 5:31:34 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
To celebrate, I found a little song someone wrote on Tumblr:
Cuz if you liked it then you shouldnt have put your rules on it
If you liked it then you shouldnt have put that tax on it
Dont be mad once you see our freedom hit
If you liked it then you shouldnt have badly governed it
Wo oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh, wo oh oh
"When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." -George Carlin
"If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it." -Stephen Colbert
"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them." -Mark Twain
America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. John Updike
"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them." -Lily Tomlin
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. Laurence J. Peter
America is the best half-educated country in the world. Nicholas M. Butler
In America, anyone can become President. Thats the problem. George Carlin
It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out. George Mikes
Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence. Bill Maher
Ninety-eight per cent of American homes have TV sets - which means the people in the other two per cent have to generate their own sex and violence. Franklin P. Jones
"If you buy your July 4 supplies at Walmart, you can celebrate on independence from Britain and dependence on China at the same time." -Andy Borowitz
"Happy 4th of July! As you take this day to honor America, ask yourself, "Why am I not honoring America on the other 364 days? Shame on me." -Stephen Colbert
"Dear America, Happy Independence day.& thanks for running the world since we retired. (China wants the job but hang in there.) Luv England." -Ricky Gervais
"On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations." -Andy Borowitz
"Happy 4th of July, although I don't support celebrating a bunch of rebels defeating an empire." -Darth Vader
"Tomorrow let's not forget the whole reason behind July 4th. We left England so we could blow our fingers off w/ fireworks! #Freedom" -Steve Agee
Awww.....
Fangs!
Go, KITTEH!
British People Taste Test American Snacks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4UEifGF8DU
Sickening, is what it is.
Americans Try British McDonald’s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_Fm-LYJ91k
Back when I was married I got my wife a hamster-skin coat. Then we went to the fair. Took me five hours to get her off the ferris wheel...
While I was driving to work I saw a guy texting on his phone while driving! I was disgusted so I lowered my window and threw my beer at him.
I just finished reading a news article about Hillary’s hospitalization for a blood clot in her head, presumably as a result of the concussion of a couple of weeks ago. A blogger wrote that he’d overheard a reporter asking Bill about the situation. Reporter: “Bill how is Hillary’s head?” Bill “Well, she’s no Monica but I’ve got no complaints”.
Yum!!!
that when your feet hit th floor each morning,
Satan says,
"OH CRAP,.. SHE'S UP!"
Amen! May I have more tomorrow?
FMCDH(BITS)
I put a roach motel under the sink last week.
Checked on it yesterday and they’d converted it to a roach condominium.
Bought my wife a car for her birthday.
She put on a license plate liner that says “Happiness is being single.”
I wish.
Every Christmas I slip some British candies into the kid’s stocking (Crunchy’s, Lion Bars, Twirly Whirlys, Milk Buttons, and the like). They really like the Penguins.
LOL!
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s... Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
You too Monkey.....enjoy the cash
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