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This Pizza Place Rightfully Charges $1,000 For A Side of Ranch
Austinist ^ | Mar 21, 2014 | Aleksander Chan

Posted on 03/21/2014 3:44:15 PM PDT by nickcarraway

Let's just get this out of the way: Putting ranch dressing on your pizza is disgusting and foul and you should feel ashamed of yourself if you desecrate the sanctity of the holy union of bread, tomato sauce, and cheese. For shame!

Anyway, Cane Rosso's in Dallas is doing it right and "charging" customers a sweet grand for the privilege to eat their pizza WRONG. Owner Jay Jerrier explained to Eater the type of people he usually encounters ordering this pghlemy subtance. It's weird, it always seems to be young, college-age girls that ask for it.

Of course, when they caught wind of his joke giant bottle of ranch, the Annals of Reddit reacted as they often do. Everybody [on Reddit] seems to assume we're the worst people in the world, like how dare they tell me how to eat my pizza! Dude, it's a joke. Relax.

But really, it's just a damn Yankee thing.

It was pretty funny how people did take it really seriously and were super offended. I guess it's the Midwest. They love them some ranch.

Also, it's his restaurant. He can do what he wants.

Well you know, at Cane Rosso we really try — and you gotta take this with a grain of salt — we try to stay authentically Neapolitan, but we're also the same guys who are putting brisket on pizza, and bacon marmalade. But we really try to stay far away from the kind of Midwest-American tradition. No chicken, no ham, no pineapple. I think for the most part, again, take it with a grain of salt, Cane Rosso is more about restraint and balance where we're not taking it to extremes. Ban ranch dressing on pizza.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Food; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bossy; gauche; pizza; ranchdressing
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1 posted on 03/21/2014 3:44:15 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: Slings and Arrows; carlo3b

2 posted on 03/21/2014 3:44:56 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

If its good its good, some peoples way of eating is just a habit.


3 posted on 03/21/2014 3:48:11 PM PDT by easternsky
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To: nickcarraway

Pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza either. Flog the infidels....


4 posted on 03/21/2014 3:48:39 PM PDT by caver (Obama: Home of the Whopper)
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To: nickcarraway

Well...he’s right, besides everyone knows Ranch Dressing is not healthy.


5 posted on 03/21/2014 3:49:11 PM PDT by PoloSec ( Believe the Gospel: how that Christ died for our sins, was buried and rose again)
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To: nickcarraway

Ask for Ketchup instead.


6 posted on 03/21/2014 3:52:01 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: PoloSec

Ranch dressing on steamed broccoli is great stuff, though.


7 posted on 03/21/2014 3:52:38 PM PDT by nesnah (Liberals - the petulant children of politics)
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To: nickcarraway

Good on them. Remind me of a hot dog stand in river grove Illinois. They have no ketchup on a hot dog policy. Ketchup is for kids and New York ers


8 posted on 03/21/2014 3:53:29 PM PDT by Brasky (You miss every shot you never take.)
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To: nickcarraway

To this day, my husband claims he invented the idea of ranch & pizza.


9 posted on 03/21/2014 3:54:31 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: nickcarraway

“It’s weird, it always seems to be young, college-age girls that ask for it.”

Sheer misogyny. And ageism.

Bet he doesn’t have a problem with middle-aged male construction workers putting tabasco or hot pepper flakes on their pizza. Oh, because they’re not idiots, they’re gastronomy experts. Unlike those silly college girls.


10 posted on 03/21/2014 3:54:39 PM PDT by Blue Ink
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To: nickcarraway

“I guess it’s the Midwest. They love them some ranch.”

And ‘salads’ composed of lime jello with shredded vegetables suspended in it topped with miniature marshmallows.

I used to feel sorry for my cousins, but they could have left.


11 posted on 03/21/2014 3:55:32 PM PDT by Psalm 144 (My citizenship is not here.)
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To: nickcarraway

Somehow, I’ve never thought HVR dressing would have become so popular if it had been branded “Hidden Valley Ranch - a Clorox product”.


12 posted on 03/21/2014 3:56:03 PM PDT by bigbob (The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. Abraham Lincoln)
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To: Brasky

Dirty Harry agrees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5JIpT4GkyM


13 posted on 03/21/2014 3:56:20 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: nickcarraway

That’s funny. I like it.


14 posted on 03/21/2014 3:57:20 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: nickcarraway

LOL

Yeah it seems pretty common for people in these parts to order ranch. Its OK but its not for me.


15 posted on 03/21/2014 4:01:09 PM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Psalm 144
You mean like these? :-P


16 posted on 03/21/2014 4:01:20 PM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: nickcarraway
Dude, it's a joke. Relax.

Except that it isn't.

I am really getting tired of people bossing other people around and then when someone stands up to them pretending like it was suppose to be a joke.

I don't like ranch on pizza.

But I would bring in the biggest bottle I could find and plop it on the table in front of me just because the guy is being a jerk about it.

And I would loan it to anyone who asked.

Get over yourselves and stop trying to control people.

Thank you.

17 posted on 03/21/2014 4:03:19 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Proud Infidel, Gun Nut, Religious Fanatic and Freedom Fiend)
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To: caver

I agree, no pineapple! For me it’s ruined even if I remove the pineapple.


18 posted on 03/21/2014 4:03:42 PM PDT by Rusty0604
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To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis

They’re missing the cottage cheese.


19 posted on 03/21/2014 4:03:47 PM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: nickcarraway

Californians love their ranch too.


20 posted on 03/21/2014 4:04:42 PM PDT by Rusty0604
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