***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

Funny Valentine’s day quotes

I trust you plan more for Valentine’s Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.

I hope you noticed that not only the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony is missing a ring.

What’s does my perfect Valentine’s day look like? I am sitting at work with 5 cell phones in front of me and people are calling me every 10 minutes to buy one of the 50 reservations that I made in different restaurants.

If you‘re alone during Valentine’s day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred dollars.

If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.

Today is February 14^th – St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day.

To comfort your sister if she’s alone during Valentine’s day, you may say: 80 percent of my socks are single but I have never seen them crying because of that.

My boyfriend told me I can do with him whatever I want on Valentine’s Day, so I tied him up and went to the nightclub.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples, wish your love last forever and to all single people wish your batteries last forever…

Valentine’s Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for rest of 364 days of the year.

Please remember that Valentine’s Day is a polite reminder that Christmas decorations must go down!

Love doesn’t have a price tag on it, but all its accessories has.

It would be great if Valentine’s Day came with a fast-forward button.

Funny Valentine’s day greetings and wishes

I‘m only in this for your cute butt. Obviously. Happy Valentine‘s day.

I love you just the way I am

A real confession: You mean so much more to me than my new iPhone!

I do not need a photograph to remember you, because you are always on my mind.

Darling, will you be my player number 2?

To be happy with a man you have to understand him a lot and love me a little. While with the women it‘s vice versa: love them a lot and don‘t even try to understand them. Happy Valentine’s day!

I would love you even if you were so ugly that everyone died.

You would be perfect (if only you lost 20 pounds)

I need to fall in love, because I haven’t had any problems for a long time. Happy February 14^th!

You have to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find your prince on the horse.

You should leave office earlier today so your colleagues will think you have some romantic plans for Valentine’s Day.

I wish you would be my emergency contact person one day.

I’m celebrating no need to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Congratulations! You are my first repetitive Valentine.

I suspect you was cheating, your gift for me was too amazing.

I want to say thank you for the flowers I’m going to send to myself and pretend are from you.

[Nea Wood]

If it’s any comfort to you, you’re a real good guy! Hope all goes well with you and your dear wife.

[relentlessly]

To insure the uninsured, first we make the insured uninsured. Then we make the formally insured pay more to become re-insured to insure the un-insured for free.

____

So that's what was in it.

--Nancy Pelosi

[skinkinthegrass]

an oldie, but a goodie..
I'm kinda surprised Pelosi, she'd even wears (hidin' eyes) clothes..
I'd always thoughts of her as a "whips & chains" kinda thing..
but that's just me.

[RandallFlagg]

[Hoffer Rand]

Does that skirt make her butts look big?

No, her butt makes that skirt look big...

[ErnBatavia]

Did someone mention ice? Hi, simply hi!

[Lucky9teen]

A man was telling his buddy, “You won’t believe what happened last night... My daughter walked into the living room and said, ‘Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window; take my TV, and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again. And don’t forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose.’ “

“Holy Smokes,” replied the friend, “she actually said that?”

“Well, she didn’t put it quite like that, she actually said... ‘Dad, meet my new boyfriend - Mohammed. We’re going to work together on Hillary’s election campaign!’ ”

[relentlessly]

Watch out for the blowback...

Also, he could be running in 16....

And....

[exit82]

Good one!

[envisio]

Thank you. She is very dear.
I always tell people that the Lord knew exactly what I wanted when he sent me my wife.
He shitcanned all that and gave me what I needed instead.
...and I thank Him for it everyday.

[onyx]

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[llevrok]

add to that, I decided to shave my head slick bald in solidarity with my wife,

Makes it easier when you two are messing around with static electricity and balloons. ;-)

My thoughts are with your wife and you for a very successful battle!

[Lucky9teen]

You Should Do Dinner and a Movie In

You love a little Valentine's Day themed celebrating, but you don't like to go overboard.
Whether you're single or attached, you like that there's a whole day devoted to love. You are a bit of a romantic.

It's perfect for you to spend a cozy night at home with the ones you love, even if you're the only one you love right now.
A sweet movie, some good food, and warm blankets are the perfect formula for a great Valentine's Day - no matter what your relationship status is!

How Should You Celebrate Valentine's Day?

[llevrok]

“who wants to do a triple cray, cray, adorbs salchow with me?”

[onyx]

[martin_fierro]

[Lucky9teen]

Not silly, but that 15 year old Russian skater is amazing

[JoeProBono]

[Lucky9teen]

[morphing libertarian]

If her sign were true, she’d be making below minimum wage.