Posted on 08/13/2013 1:06:05 PM PDT by nickcarraway
By now you've probably heard: Short haircuts are happening. Everywhere. From the September Vogue Paris cover, to Coco Rocha's Instagram in real time, to Rihanna, who went short a few weeks ago. And if there are other life forms out there in the universe, Im sure even they have heard about Beyoncés pixie cut, polled their colonies for their citizens opinions, and put forth multiple theories about why she did it.
But as a short-haired woman for the past two years, Ive been watching the pixie hysteria unfold with some level of bemusement. I was never that comfortable with long hair on myself. The longest Ive had it is to my shoulders, and the bob is sort of my sweet spot. But in the early nineties, I was really into Depeche Mode and wanted to date someone with Martin Gore hair. I was not attracted to Gore himself too asexual. But I loved his hair and I finally decided that if I couldnt date his hair, then I would have his hair. This led to years of various bowl cuts, mousse experiments, and sometimes tears. But its still the ideal to which I aspire. In the meantime, if you're considering chopping all of your hair off, I'd like to share a few things I've learned:
Its Not Sexy and Men Hate It After Bey cut her hair, I got a press release from the appalling dating site WhatsYourPrice.com, wherein people bid to go on dates with you and you get to keep the money. Men there bid about 40 percent less on women with hair above their shoulders than on women with hair below their shoulders. Now, I actually take that as a compliment, because Id definitely rather have a man who knows the value of a dollar and doesnt squander it all on long-haired bimbos. (I kid! Its not your fault, my long-tressed sisters, that your hair makes men want to have babies with you.)
My husband met me when I had short hair and claims to like it. Ill just have to take him at his word. Im pretty sure Linda Evangelista, another nineties hair idol of mine who frequently chopped her hair, never had any problem getting a man into her bed. Miley Cyrus was recently No. 1 on the Maxim hot list, an honor rarely bestowed on ladies without classic bombshell hair, which Miley pointed out.
Dumb People Will Probably Assume You Are a Lesbian Because, Ellen. Someone recently told me that I look like Ellen, actually. (If only I could get my tousle as perfect as hers.) My college-age nephews used to call me Uncle Cheryl as a joke when I first cut my hair. Ah, Midwestern 19-year-old humor!
Or That You Are Going Through a Life Phase of Some Sort By the fall, Im quite certain colleges will be offering psychology courses about Beyoncés cut, which you can only take after you pass Michelle Obamas Bangs 101 and Lady Gaga's Beauty Bi-polarism 201. Stylist and author Lauren Rothman told the the Washington Post, Its the end of the Mrs. Carter Tour and shes really getting into motherhood and the throes of her 30s, or it could be the expression of a significant life change we may not know about. I actually sort of buy this explanation. Women make changes to their appearance when change occurs in their lives or when they think they need something different. (Or, you know, when they get their weave stuck in a fan.) Hence the dreaded breakup bangs phenomenon. And remember how Emma Watson cut her hair after Harry Potter was over to make a statement of emancipation? Michelle Williams, my own personal short hair hero, is growing hers out, and it might be because shes finally ready to move on from Heath Ledger, who supposedly loved her with short hair.
Finally, People Think Youre Really Brave to Go That Short Buzzfeed published a list of things you should never say to a woman with short hair, and they all involve some sort of backhanded compliment. Ive heard every single one of them, and I noticed this happening with peoples reactions to Beyoncés cut, too. They wrote things like Beyoncé could walk around with bird droppings on her head and shed look hot! The implicit message being that the cut is the equivalent of guano?
I like having short hair. The fact that celebs are embracing the cut is a bit of a double-edged sword, though. For a while I heard, "Oh, you have the Miley!" (Is that a compliment? Unclear.) But maybe it will make it less scary for other, non-celebrity women to try. The cut is a real confidence builder, because you don't have any hair to hide behind. It's just your cheekbones against the world.
Do I sometimes wish I could just wake up one morning with long hair and avoid the painful growing-out process? Yes. Mostly because I want to try one of those Game of Thrones Khaleesi braid tutorials.
Blech. I like women with lovely long hair and I have never been a fan of boyish hairstyles for women.
“Pixie”? I call it “Butch”!
Agreed. Some girls apparently want to have a mannish appearance. It does not look good on most girls.
Not all short hair girls are mannish or butch. Sometimes it really fits their faces and looks nice.
This is so apropos of absolutely nothing.
I’ve never cared one way or the other about a woman’s hair, least interesting part of the body. One pro of short hair is if they have a nice neck, but other than that hair is much more about impressing other women than men.
I agree, but read my post. Women have to be very pretty and a certain type of pretty to have short hair and still be pretty.
lol I call those type of haircuts “Lesbi-bobs”
And not because of ellen lol
“I like women with lovely long hair”
This short hairstyle thing may have something to do with baby boomers moving into their golden years (which are anything BUT “golden”).
I loved my long hair back when I could wear it long; it was gorgeous, if I do say so myself. However, since hitting about 50, the hair got thinner and limper and duller and “long” isn’t even a possibility. The dull part can be dealt with, but thin is thin. Now, at 65, short hair is the only option. So, before condemning us, maybe consider that some of us have no choice.
BS. I love women with short hair. Some men hate it but not all. I think that some of the most attractive women I've seen had short hair.
So do ex-borg and vulcans.
There you go Laz, LOL
Which shows you how much the term "hot" as been diluted. She is no more than ordinary looking, not even pretty.
I had a brief fascination with short-haired women when Dorothy Hamill was burning up the ice. But in general I’m with you.
The traffic girl on our local news the other day had this long, flowing, gently curling storybook princess hair. Gorgeous!
I will agree with you on this. A very small segment of the female population can successfully sport a “pixie cut” and it does require more delicate and refined features to do so.
I have always thought this woman was gorgeous in short hair:
The second time I mistakenly cut my hair is when I worked in the corporate world and all the women were jealous of my long, lovely blond locks and would make derogatory comments in their jealousy. I was also dating a man with a very corporate family (my now in-laws) and wanted to try out a new 'conservative look'. I regretted it within a month. (Although I think my mother-in-law loved my more snipped sexuality--as this is what cutting my hair off felt like for me.
Finally my hair is back (it takes longer to grow when one is older.). I love it. My husband loves it. My girl friends envy me and every man I meet seems to find it alluring. So hey. My thought is it won't be long until old 'B' and 'R" have their waves back. At first it is new and fun then . . . :(.
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