Posted on 08/13/2013 1:06:05 PM PDT by nickcarraway
By now you've probably heard: Short haircuts are happening. Everywhere. From the September Vogue Paris cover, to Coco Rocha's Instagram in real time, to Rihanna, who went short a few weeks ago. And if there are other life forms out there in the universe, I’m sure even they have heard about Beyoncé’s pixie cut, polled their colonies for their citizens’ opinions, and put forth multiple theories about why she did it.
But as a short-haired woman for the past two years, I’ve been watching the pixie hysteria unfold with some level of bemusement. I was never that comfortable with long hair on myself. The longest I’ve had it is to my shoulders, and the bob is sort of my sweet spot. But in the early nineties, I was really into Depeche Mode and wanted to date someone with Martin Gore hair. I was not attracted to Gore himself — too asexual. But I loved his hair and I finally decided that if I couldn’t date his hair, then I would have his hair. This led to years of various bowl cuts, mousse experiments, and sometimes tears. But it’s still the ideal to which I aspire. In the meantime, if you're considering chopping all of your hair off, I'd like to share a few things I've learned:
It’s Not Sexy and Men Hate It After Bey cut her hair, I got a press release from the appalling dating site WhatsYourPrice.com, wherein people bid to go on dates with you and you get to keep the money. Men there bid about 40 percent less on women with hair above their shoulders than on women with hair below their shoulders. Now, I actually take that as a compliment, because I’d definitely rather have a man who knows the value of a dollar and doesn’t squander it all on long-haired bimbos. (I kid! It’s not your fault, my long-tressed sisters, that your hair makes men want to have babies with you.)
My husband met me when I had short hair and claims to like it. I’ll just have to take him at his word. I’m pretty sure Linda Evangelista, another nineties hair idol of mine who frequently chopped her hair, never had any problem getting a man into her bed. Miley Cyrus was recently No. 1 on the Maxim hot list, an honor rarely bestowed on ladies without classic bombshell hair, which Miley pointed out.
Dumb People Will Probably Assume You Are a Lesbian Because, Ellen. Someone recently told me that I look like Ellen, actually. (If only I could get my tousle as perfect as hers.) My college-age nephews used to call me Uncle Cheryl as a joke when I first cut my hair. Ah, Midwestern 19-year-old humor!
Or That You Are Going Through a Life Phase of Some Sort By the fall, I’m quite certain colleges will be offering psychology courses about Beyoncé’s cut, which you can only take after you pass Michelle Obama’s Bangs 101 and Lady Gaga's Beauty Bi-polarism 201. Stylist and author Lauren Rothman told the the Washington Post, “It’s the end of the Mrs. Carter Tour and she’s really getting into motherhood and the throes of her 30s, or it could be the expression of a significant life change we may not know about.” I actually sort of buy this explanation. Women make changes to their appearance when change occurs in their lives or when they think they need something different. (Or, you know, when they get their weave stuck in a fan.) Hence the dreaded “breakup bangs” phenomenon. And remember how Emma Watson cut her hair after Harry Potter was over to make a statement of emancipation? Michelle Williams, my own personal short hair hero, is growing hers out, and it might be because she’s finally ready to move on from Heath Ledger, who supposedly loved her with short hair.
Finally, People Think You’re Really Brave to Go That Short Buzzfeed published a list of things you should never say to a woman with short hair, and they all involve some sort of backhanded compliment. I’ve heard every single one of them, and I noticed this happening with people’s reactions to Beyoncé’s cut, too. They wrote things like “Beyoncé could walk around with bird droppings on her head and she’d look hot!” The implicit message being that the cut is the equivalent of guano?
I like having short hair. The fact that celebs are embracing the cut is a bit of a double-edged sword, though. For a while I heard, "Oh, you have the Miley!" (Is that a compliment? Unclear.) But maybe it will make it less scary for other, non-celebrity women to try. The cut is a real confidence builder, because you don't have any hair to hide behind. It's just your cheekbones against the world.
Do I sometimes wish I could just wake up one morning with long hair and avoid the painful growing-out process? Yes. Mostly because I want to try one of those Game of Thrones Khaleesi braid tutorials.
It’s funny how we’re all different, isn’t it?
Some people don’t like long hair on men, but I’ve been to the All-Nations Pow-wow, and Yowza! It just depends on who you are.
Very few women older than 50 (give or take) look good in long hair, just as few young women can wear really short hair (tho I do think of Audrey Hepburn whenever anyone mentions a pixie haircut). Women with great facial bone structure can go bald for all it matters, they will look great no matter what.
Some men look great in long hair. Some men look great bald. I prefer Mr. T in longish hair, but he has to wear it fairly short for his job.
Yep, especially this lesson - Hare today, goon tomorrow.
The only style worse on a woman than a man’s haircut, is a bun.
I’m 52.
Check out my hair.
It’s longer and thicker than its ever been.
Estriol also has wonderful protective health benefits as well.
Also, real progesterone cream is great.
I don’t go without either. ..:)
FWIW Dept.
My mother made me wear a pixie when I was little because she got a bug up her butt that I could only wear my hair short. I hated it. My relatives called me Sam. To this day if my hair it cut shorter than I like i have an intense emotional reaction.
At 59, you would think I would be over it. Some traumas stay forever.
yup, only a few can really pull it off, and as you said they have to have the right face shape and features to do it. There was one gal I dated in high school that had shorter hair like that and she had the face that worked for that haircut. Big almond eyes, heart-shaped jawline, proper nose.
Two words; Toni perm.
My mom did cruel things to my head.
Now she says I’m too old for long hair.
When somebody shows me where that rule is written, I will ponder it.
(And then not cut it anyway)
Why not just “Les-bobs”?
Yep, we’re all different.
My oldest son grows his hair longish sometimes. No matter what he does with it, it looks good, but I prefer it longer although his dad and my mother gripe. He and I have the same hairdresser ;-).
Oh come on, don’t post dudes here.
Buy either MSM caps or the hair vitamin formula from GNC.
as stated earlier you have to have the right kind of female face shape to pull off a short haircut like that.
Probably helps to have a slender neck as well.
Looking good! This is great info. Would it be too early for me to start, since I’m not having any symptoms? Have no desire for short hair, and if I can keep it long, AND have it get as silver as EmmyLou’s, hubby will be in HEAVEN. He LOVES EmmyLou’s hair as do I. If I take more after my Dad, it just might happen. As it is, not one gray yet. What brands do you recommend?
Amber Josephine Liu doesn't care (Chinese-American who is in a Korean girl band)
She has a deep voice and boyish mannerisms and has actually been mistaken for a boy often in the past.
Sometimes she still looks like the girl she is
Good haircuts. Jamie-my-hairdresser could do that. (If I see Bill with that style on the bottom, I might worry a bit ...)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.