Posted on 08/11/2013 1:32:57 PM PDT by Utilizer
Thought some of us could use a bit of a break today, and remembered a differing post just the other day.
Cats are better than women because:
1. Cats don't care how much money you have. Good cat food and a warm place to sleep and you are golden.
2. Cats do not understand the concept of breakfast in bed. Start opening the can or the bag of food and they are on the way.
3. Cats dislike chocolate, sneeze on flowers, and attempting to buy them nice clothes to wear will only make them strut away in disdain. They already have fur coats.
4. Cats don't worry about you hogging the remote control or whether or not what you are watching is "sensitive" enough. Use it as an impromptu backscratcher for them and you can watch sports or action flicks all you want. Although they may occasionally use it as an improvised mousetoy.
5. A cat will love you forever.
6. Cats don't care if you see other cats. Or even dogs, generally.
7. Cats don't wonder if you still love them. They know you do.
8. You can wear cutoff shorts and sneakers all you want, and a cat will not make any snide comments about slobs, sloppy attitudes, or holy clothing whatsoever.
9. If you decide to sleep in on a weekend instead of mowing the lawn, there is never any problem. Sleep is a concept well-accepted by all cats.
10. Cats don't care if you decide not to shave for a couple of days, or grow a moustache, whiskers being a normal part of their concept of beauty.
11. You can eat four cheeseburgers, four large fries, and a six-pack (or two) as many times as you want, and a cat will never look askance at you or start making rude "piggy" sounds while you do. Heck, they may even sit there and wait for you to pass along tidbits while you are doing it.
12. Cats don't care if you buy them presents on their birthdays, being generally unaware of birthdays or other such occasions.
13. Cats don't care if you remember their mother's birthday or if you make any disparaging remarks about the old battle-axe.
14. Cats don't try to borrow money from you.
15. Cats don't care about the car you drive. Heck, cats don't care about cars at all -unless you are bundling them off to the vet.
16. Generally speaking, cats are the ultimate optimists, never being the type to go crying over spilt milk.
17. Cats don't care about how many other cats you might have known in the past.
18. Cats don't get insecure if you talk about working with lots of beautiful cats that they don't know.
19. Cats don't sabotage your work clothes with perfume when you mention that you are scheduled for a business meeting where another cat will be present.
20. Cats don't go through your wallet or pockets after an important business meeting looking for the sudden appearance of previously-unknown phone numbers.
21. Cats don't go crying to their mothers when you forget some "important" occasion, like for instance your three-month anniversary.
22. Most importantly, if you have had such an incredibly difficult day that all you want to do when you come home is sit in front of the telly with a cold one, instead of bothering you with demands to 'talk about it', they just want to come over and curl up in your lap to join you.
NOW you tell me.
Cats come with hairballs.
I still have that classic tome “101 uses for a dead cat.”
Oddly enough, I have an identical one. That one, and “This is Russel the Cat. Russel is a Republian.” Both great books and quite humorous.
I think I have to look for the sequel
“More 101 uses for a dead cat.”
It’s real. I remember buying it. Can’t remember where I put it though.
Kinda like that mouse toy ;-)
Dog Girlfriend vs Cat Girlfriend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4GPG4eNNEk
Makes me want to get a dog....
I don’t see the competition. I’ve always assumed that women were descended from cats, their minds and nervous systems appear to work the same way more or less and they generally want the same kinds of things.
Guys don’t have cats. They have dogs.
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Or they just pee on everything within reach in your closet.
lol.....
Leave a dog alone in the house for more than a day and he'll ignore the cat's litter box and crap all over the house.......... :)
Some additions:
23. Cats don’t care if you don’t call. The machine will pick up if you do and you can leave a message.
24. Cats don’t embarrass you by making you bring them home any Feminine Products from the store.
25. You never have to worry about having to carry a cats’ handbag. Or frilly scarf, either.
26. Cats don’t demand that you go shopping with them.
27. Cats don’t make you bring home any chick-flicks to watch.
28. Cats don’t force you to sit still for two hours and watch some of the latest boring “hit” movies.
29. Cats don’t demand that you buy them a bigger bed.
30. Cats don’t worry if their choice of outfit makes them look fat. Usually consisting entirely of a collar, there is never any problem -and what do you mean, “fat”?
31. Cats don’t demand that you know the names of all their relatives and memorize all their birthdays and anniversaries.
32. Cats don’t sneer at the relative lack of intelligence of any friends you bring home. They sneer at them on general principles.
33. Cats do not insist that you dance with them.
34. Cats do not care if you read on the toilet.
35. Cats do not demand that you do something “romantic” once in awhile. If you do not believe Me, just try carrying one off to bed sometime.
36. Cats do not throw hissy fits if you refuse to sit at the table to eat dinner and prefer to sit in front of the telly.
37. Cats hate it if you try spraying air-fresheners anywhere.
38. Cats do not annoy you by constantly asking you what you are thinking.
39. Cats are not constantly worrying to their girlfriends that you do not seem all that ‘sensitive’ after all.
40. Cats do not demand that you undergo therapy because you just do not understand them enough.
41. Cats are not critical of you if you do not want to go outside.
42. Cats do not care about public displays of affection. It had BETTER be private, or touchy-feely is going to be scratchy-ouchie!
Ping!
Some more points... *grin*
*cough*(whispered: “Feminine goo”) *cough*
9. If you decide to sleep in on a weekend instead of mowing the lawn, there is never any problem. Sleep is a concept well-accepted by all cats.
You must not actually OWN a cat. When kitteh is hungry, kitteh becomes kitteh alam clock.
To a dog, the cat’s litter box is a treat box.
No worries. Just keep the food-bowl down and constantly full and they will never cause a fuss.
You do not ‘own’ cats. Cats own YOU. Mine decided I was The Staff, and will not tolerate any slobbery dogs hanging about whatsoever.
Too true, mate. In a nutshell, cats are small women in cheap fur coats.
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