Posted on 03/15/2013 10:16:41 AM PDT by Cajun Jihad
Edited on 03/15/2013 10:18:18 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
Greetings fellow patriots! Houston we have a problem! A big one. I'm located in South Louisina 337. On February 28 a white SUV pulled up to the house with red DHS lettering with Texas plates. (Texas WTH i thought y'all were with us) I saw them pull in the drive an met them outside at their truck 2 agents late 40s-50s. They say Hi we are here doing a survey. One agent pulls out 3 volumes (looked like phone books almost sizewise) He ruffles through the pages in first then second volume. He finds my list (The 1 that they don't have). he says so we are doing a survey and we are going around visiting everyone and trying to verify if you own or still have these firearms. He proceeds to show me my list. Every gun i bought from a dealer is on this list. Every one from 22s to Mosin Nagants and everything in between. I was blown away and still am. Many bricks have been shat since then! I told them nah i don't have any of those dangerous baby killers gave them all away after Newtown. They left but sat parked down the road for a couple hours. Probably coordinating drone strike. I have ony told a couple of close friends i trust. I've been tryng to keep it together. The first person i told also had a visit exactly 2 weeks before me. He ordered a questionable part off the net an that's what the agents told him they were after. He lives 5 minutes down the road. I was freaked then but I didn't think anything of it you know he brought it on himself. Until i got a visit. All my stuff is legal and above board. No worries on that part. But then why did i recieve a visit? I don't know i've been gripped with fear since. Keeping watch on my porch, almost sleeping outside some nights. And then yesterday my wife's friends parents who are an hour north of us got a visit. Only the mom was home and she told them to hit the street. These people are farmers and have guns but mostly Fudd guns and relics passed down. The father was going somewhere on business this weekend and next week. He cancelled. Even the Fudds aren't safe from this. My only solace in all of this is the 3 massive volumes the jackboots had. I know i'm not the only one. I don't know what to do?! It took this long for me to tell somebody else. My wife and i are scared [crap]less!I'm not sure if they are testing the waters seeing who will comply. Or if it's something else entirely. Why down here? Why not in Commiefornia or one of these other liberal dreamlands? I thougt we were good we just voted to strengthen the 2nd in our state. i just keep saying in my head. WTF?
This one should be for OFST, but you all can enjoy it on Wednesday.
A man walks into a bar and hears some beautiful piano music. He looks at the piano and sees no one there. He walks over for a closer look and there's a man, about a foot tall, standing on the bench and playing beautiful piano music.
The man walks over to the bartender, hooks his thumb, and says, "What's with the tiny piano player?"
Without a word, the bartender pulls an object from beneath the bar that appears to be an ancient lamp. The bartender hands the man a rag and nods his head. So the man takes the rag and rubs the lamp,
Out pops a genie (or is that a djinn?) who intones, "For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you one wish. What is your wish, Oh Master?"
The man, not sure if this is real, says, "I'd like a million bucks".
"DONE!" says the genie, and he vanishes.
The man looks around. Seeing nothing on the bar he says, "I wonder where my million bucks is?" He's just reaching for his wallet to look in there when suddenly the bar is filled with panicky, flapping, quacking ducks that are creating total havoc. The man helps the bartender usher the ducks out of the bar, which takes quite a bit of time and energy, waving their arms and shouting like madmen.
Finally the last duck has quit the bar and the man says to the bartender, "I'm really sorry. I have no idea what happened. I didn't wish for a million ducks."
The bartender, finally speaking, asks, "Do you think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"
Duh?
"It's simple," she said to me. "I got bored eating stupid flies so I put a little fun in my man web. The strand you're on right now isn't sticky. There is a non-sticky path that will take you back to a branch. If you make it to a branch before I get to you, I'll let you go.
"But don't step on a sticky piece of web, and you have 2 minutes to figure out how to tell the difference."
Yes, Duh.
He has this permanently vacant expression on his fuzzy little face.
If it can get him into trouble, he is drawn to it like a moth to flame.
There will be a crash noise, something hits the floor, and one panicked and horribly confused cat will be nearby going, “What do you mean I can’t walk across plants as if they’re all made of steel?”
So for freedom he gave up the 12” pianist?
Let it marinate for a bit. It will come to you.
This is going too far for comfort .. like a bridge too far. To save face am going to go dunk myself under the water.
That sounds like something the spiderbot Eva would say and do during the SLAVER incident.
It’s 48 and cloudy here, but the Carolina Jasmine outside the kitchen has its first blooms. I hope it doesn’t finish before it gets warm enough to open the windows, because it smells wonderful!
Thankfully we both have an out!
Tristan Cat belongs to my missus.
So THAT'S the secret I should have been using. Who knew that keeping my face wet would have kept it from spoiling?
Is that the "one weird trick" I keep seeing ads for on the Internets?
Apparently, being related to certain Elder Creatures has netted me the “coveted” statements of, ‘Hey, you really aren’t 37, are you?’ all too often.
Told you ... that face cream does wonders.
I was in Oklahoma in ‘96, and I didn’t see it!
Lots of things at Fort Sill that didn’t get seen.
I was in teh old post quarry across from our barracks with a bunch of teh guys.
Well, we were wandering down the path and looking atthe exposed rock.
Right up to the moment I nearly walked into the big yellow and black spider.
Until the laws are changed so that judges are elected, maybe you should up the carnivorous rug count.
Was it eating a bat at the time?
Would make for some exciting case law and court proceedings.”Keep that thing away from me!”
*Suick erquirk!* -the rug hisses and lunges slightly.
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