Until the laws are changed so that judges are elected, maybe you should up the carnivorous rug count.
Would make for some exciting case law and court proceedings.”Keep that thing away from me!”
*Suick erquirk!* -the rug hisses and lunges slightly.
I didn't know carnivorous toupees could be tamed well enough to leave the wearer alone, but I think that would be a great self-defense item. A carnivorous "rug" shop and training business would probably be a big seller in these days. Plus, it wouldn't trigger any pesky firearm detectors.