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~THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD~
Posted on 01/04/2013 5:11:46 AM PST by Lucky9teen
And then I read this....
On January 1, 400 new federal laws took effect. Meanwhile, state legislatures passed 29,000 bills and resolutions, many of which came into force on the first of the year. Local government added thousands of new laws.
Ignorance is no excuse, so start cramming on all the weird new regulations you have to follow as of Tuesday:
1. In California, it's now unlawful to let a dog pursue a bear or bobcat at any time. Previously, exceptions had been made for hunting. Bad news for dogs, good news for bears and bobcats.
2. The new laws aren't just about banning things! Florida law revised the term "motor vehicle" to exclude swamp buggies, deregulating the primary mode of transportation in that state.
3. In an assault on the civil rights of crazy cat ladies, residents of Wellington, Kansas are now limited to no more than four cats per household. The hope is that restricting ownership will lower the town's burgeoning cat population.
4. Fun news: Illinoisans under 21 can drink alcohol now! Less fun: They have to be enrolled in a culinary program to do so.
5. Film producers in California must have permission from a pediatrician before filming a child under the age of one month. Suddenly, Real Infants of Newport Beach looks less likely to be green-lit.
6. In the category of "how the hell wasn't this illegal already," California prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates.
7. Sex offenders in Illinois are banned from distributing candy on Halloween or playing Santa or the Easter Bunny.
8. No more "popping wheelies" on motorcycles in Illinois, but they can run a red light if the coast is clear.
9. Don't steal grease in North Carolina. Those who steal more than $1,000 worth of grease can be found guilty of a felony. It's the kind of overcompensation that happens when your state doesn't have mineral or gas deposits.
If all this sounds like things you did on New Year's Eve, I hope you had fun. No more such hijinks in 2013.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: government; ofst; silliness; stupidpeople
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...
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2
posted on
01/04/2013 5:15:49 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...
CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
3
posted on
01/04/2013 5:16:00 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
4
posted on
01/04/2013 5:17:00 AM PST
by
ErnBatavia
(Piffle....)
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...
CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
5
posted on
01/04/2013 5:17:00 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
6
posted on
01/04/2013 5:19:22 AM PST
by
RandallFlagg
("Liberalism is about as progressive as CANCER" -Alfonzo Rachel)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Disambiguator
8
posted on
01/04/2013 5:21:45 AM PST
by
freebird5850
(The only good thing about Barry getting re-elected is now we get to see him fall from a higher place)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
10
posted on
01/04/2013 5:23:54 AM PST
by
rockabyebaby
(We are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo screwed!)
To: Will not Live for another Man
11
posted on
01/04/2013 5:24:33 AM PST
by
Doogle
(USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
To: Lucky9teen
IT'S SILLINESS!!!!!
12
posted on
01/04/2013 5:27:12 AM PST
by
ArGee
(Reality - what a concept.)
To: ArGee
So then Washington says to Hamilton, "Just think for a minute. What if one day the people realize the power they have and us this to vote so much money for themselves that the country winds up $16 Trillion in debt.
Hamilton says, "That's silly, George. Stop stalling and sign the darn thing."
13
posted on
01/04/2013 5:30:33 AM PST
by
ArGee
(Reality - what a concept.)
To: Lucky9teen
14
posted on
01/04/2013 5:31:22 AM PST
by
dragonblustar
(Allah Ain't So Akbar!"Once abolish the God, and the Government becomes the God")
To: ArGee
15
posted on
01/04/2013 5:36:57 AM PST
by
ArGee
(Reality - what a concept.)
To: Lucky9teen
We're ready for OFST !
16
posted on
01/04/2013 5:41:23 AM PST
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: Lucky9teen
top 20
17
posted on
01/04/2013 5:41:42 AM PST
by
scott0347
(Commander of the 0347th Lancer Brigade, Operator of the Immaculate Steamroller)
To: All
18
posted on
01/04/2013 5:42:45 AM PST
by
KevinDavis
(And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.)
To: ArGee
What's the difference between an accordion and a cat?
Only the cost, they both make the same kinds of sounds when you squeeze them.
The song most requested of accordionists?
Can you play Far, Far Away?
What's the difference between an accordion and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump up and down on a trampoline.
What is the range of an accordion?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
What is the difference between an accordionist walking down the road with his accordion, and a goldfish swimming down the gutter with a banjo on his back?
The Goldfish has got a gig to go to.
What do a true music lover and an accordionist have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
19
posted on
01/04/2013 5:46:07 AM PST
by
ArGee
(Reality - what a concept.)
To: Lucky9teen
A few days ago my best friend from High School sent me a ‘Vietnam Veteran’ hat. I never had one of these before and I was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend Ronn was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.
Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world’s largest retailer but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, enough of my psychological fixes.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, “Are you a Vietnam Vet?”
“No” I replied.
“Then why are you wearing that hat?”
“Because I couldn’t find one for the War of 1812.” I thought it was a snappy retort.
“The War of 1812, huh.” the Walmartian queried, “When was that?”
God forgive but, I couldn’t pass up such an opportunity. “1936”
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, “Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?”
“It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it.” This was beginning to be way fun.
“Dude! Really!” he exclaimed. “How did you get to do something that COOOOL?”
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, “I’m not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission.”
“Dude!”, he was really getting excited about what he was hearing. “That is seriously Awesome! But, didn’t you kind of stand out?”
“Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage.” The moron nodded knowingly.
“Listen man,” I said in a very serious tone, “You can’t tell anyone about this. It’s still Top Secret and I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Oh yeah.” he gave me the “don’t threaten me look. “Like, what’s gonna happen if I do?”
With a really hard look I said, “You have a family don’t you? We wouldn’t want anything to happen to them would we?”
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another ‘deadly’ serious look, I made the “I see you” gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.
What a great time! Tomorrow I’m going back with a Homeland Security hat. Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of hat..
20
posted on
01/04/2013 5:50:38 AM PST
by
verga
(A nation divided by Zero!)
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