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What's the difference between an accordion and a cat?
Only the cost, they both make the same kinds of sounds when you squeeze them.

The song most requested of accordionists?
Can you play Far, Far Away?

What's the difference between an accordion and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump up and down on a trampoline.

What is the range of an accordion?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What is the difference between an accordionist walking down the road with his accordion, and a goldfish swimming down the gutter with a banjo on his back?
The Goldfish has got a gig to go to.

What do a true music lover and an accordionist have in common?
Absolutely nothing.