Posted on 09/21/2012 1:58:04 PM PDT by Pharmboy
I have always enjoyed hearing those funny and clever expressions handed down from grandmas and grandpas in the heartland. I grew up in the east, but went to school in the mid-west, and some of the guys I went to school with had some great ones.
I would love to hear some of yours.
I will start with a few that I heard years ago, and ask you folks to add your own favorites that you heard from friends and family.
My dad (NYC):
"Busier than a one-armed paper hanger."
From a buddy from Indiana:
"Well, he stands out like two turds in a pan of milk."
"She's crazier than a half-f***ed fox during the heat season."
From a guy from Georgia who lived down the hall [said about a woman who was not particularly attractive]:
She sure ain't nobody's pretty chile."
A woman from Maryland as she goes to answer the telelphone:
"What kind of fresh hell is this?"
Now you go...
Refering to an attractive woman;
“Finer than snake hair.”
Of one with large lips: You don't get lips like that sucking on door knobs
Tighter than bark on a tree. (Stingy)
When you said inbreeding I had to smile a bit.
I am not going to say what her name is but it is not a common one. That is not common unless you live in SE Georgia.
From my grandmother (W-Central PA): Offen the light. (turn off the light)
From my husband & his Kentucky relatives: I'm fixin' to... meaning I'm getting ready to... And among the males, she's hotter than a brick sh--house with a drop ceiling.
from my husband (Central IL) I’m as happy as a gopher in soft dirt
Another good one from Dad when he’d call us out on whatever:
“If bullsh-t were music you’d be a brass band”
“Soup cooling lips” (big lips)
Your girl friend eats like a beagle. (gobbles)
Quicker than a pit bull on a pre-schooler.
>> Angry enough to spit nails
my dad would always say “angry enough to chew wire and spit nails”
Smells bad enough to knock a buzzard off a sh*twagon.
that face could stop a 8 day clock
make a train take a dirt road
crazer than a sh1t house loon.
He’s crookeder than a dog’s hind leg.
“He was so crooked they had to screw him into the ground when he died” (heard that one regarding a late great uncle who owned a car dealership, didn’t know he was poorly regarded and it shocked me).
She could eat popcorn from a Coke bottle.
I’ve only been through the first 50 posts and laughed harder than I have in many months.
Can’t wait to read the rest!
Yeah, it’s a slow Friday night...
kg/nancy
“A crick is a creek narrow enought to step over.”
In England that would still be a River.
bump for later
I am loving this thread!
Speaking of sh-twagons, my Dad had this lovely:
“Crazier than a sh-thouse rat”
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