Posted on 08/28/2011 7:14:44 PM PDT by lowbridge
Things change when you have a child.
You begin to feel differently about a multitude of life’s experiences.
The entire world takes on new meaning and nuance.
Take Dirty Dancing.
Pre-fatherhood, I watched Patrick Swayze tell Jerry Orbach that “Nobody puts baby in the corner” and thought, “Hell yeah, Johnny Castle! You let that patronizing old fool have a piece of your mind! He doesn’t deserve Baby for a daughter! Damn straight nobody puts Baby in a corner!”
Now that I’m a father, things have changed slightly.
Now I watch Patrick Swayze tell Jerry Orbach that “Nobody puts baby in the corner” and think, “If I were Jerry Orbach’s character, I would jam my steak knife into that greaser’s gut and twist it until he was dead at my feet. No one, and I mean no one, is going to tell me how to raise my daughter, let alone take her out from under my wing with a stupid line like that. Especially not some summer camp male slut dance instructor. Over my dead body, Johnny Castle. Over my dead body, you pathetic piece of dancehall trash.”
See the difference?
Fatherhood changes everything.
I know. I teach in inner-city Los Angeles. I have seen things that left marks on my retinas. I am convinced that the rate my hair is going gray tripled the night I “chaperoned” my first (and last) middle school dance.
One of my favorite movies...however, I am a Jewish woman who grew up in the 1960’s. You had to be there.
This movie had so many problems.
The whole conflict between Baby and her dad over Johnny could have been avoided if she would have just told him that the waiter (was his name Robbie?) was the father of the pregnant girl with a 22-inch Scarlett O’Hara waist’s baby. Or when the dad asks when treating her, “Who’s responsible for this girl?”, and Johnny says, “I am” he gave the false impression that he was the father. Most men in his situation wouldn’t have done that. I could go on and on......
My take on that is that it is healthy for your kids to see some of that- it will help them to handle it themselves in their own future relationships. I *never* saw my parents fight or disagree about anything, and just didn’t know what to do when I encountered that myself, in my first marriage (and there was plenty of it).
When I met the wonderful woman I’m married to now, we set down ground rules for fighting, and we’ve followed them- *say* when you are angry (and why), and no name calling. This has worked out well for us.
So our child sees us have arguments (some quite vehement), but she also sees all of the love and devotion between us- I believe that this will give here the background to handle both of these things in her own life (and she’s gonna have fights with her S.O.- she’s a stubborn little thing!).
thank you
and good luck...that sounds great
I tried to get wifey to have one more about a year ago but no way..she’s done
it’s funny to juxtapose youth with what we become...what you are taught early really comes into play...or hard lessons some learn early too
Okay, I say it never follow through, but you two and us really, really, need to have a night out.
Not this weekend, wife is going to her mom’s again.
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