Posted on 08/22/2011 2:18:12 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Harvard scientist Arkhat Abzhanov has done what dozens of drunk Miamians living near the Everglades have probably attempted in a cruder fashion at one point or another: successfully mixed the DNA of a chicken and an alligator. Unlike hypothetical local attempts, however, Abzhanov's method did not involve getting a gator to hump a chicken. Unfortunately. Also unfortunately, our streets are now doomed.
Because many modern reptiles and birds evolved from shared ancestors, Abzhanov theorized he could undo evolution by getting chicken embryos to grow reptilian snouts instead of beaks. According to the Daily Mail, Abzhanov injected a small gloop of a protein to alter the chicken's DNA while it was still developing in the egg.
"[The embryo] looks exactly like a snout looks in an alligator," the scientist told the Telegraph.
Ethical rules prohibited Abzhanov from letting the chicken-gators hatch, but he hopes to one day alter the fowl DNA to the point that the result resembles the Maniraptora, a small class of dinosaurs that eventually evolved into modern birds.
This means two things: (1) Jurassic Park is pretty much real now, and (2) the streets of Miami are doomed.
The Magic City already has a problem with chickens roaming the streets, and its home to the type of people who think owning a chicken-gator hybrid would be the best idea ever. What other type of animal could snap at intruders while laying eggs for omelets and flan and such?
Of course, this also obviously means one day our streets will be terrorized by monstrous toothed chickens. We weep for the future of Little Havana but eagerly await the eventual SyFy television movie this will undoubtedly spawn.
hunh. prophetic analysis of man's grasp of godhood.
It is horrible that live is treated with such irreverence.
It is horrible that life is treated with such irreverence.
Now if they can just find a way to mount rocket launchers on them!!
Or frickin’ lasers?
Absolutely. Frickin’ laser beams on their fricken’ heads!
Certainly turned out better than trying to splice a pig and an elephant's DNA.
Why would anyone want to do this?
“GO, CHICKEN HEART, GO!!!”
Chicken Boy is not amused.
>>Certainly turned out better than trying to splice a pig and an elephant’s DNA.
If they spliced chickens with pigs, then we could get eggs that taste like bacon...and that would be great for everyone!
The chicken is involved, but the pig is committed.
Obligatory political joke in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...
Buck up, mate! It could be worse. They could be cloning Barack Obama.
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