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Posted on 04/30/2011 10:02:07 PM PDT by JustAmy
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A Pleased Psychic
I am not a believer in seances, but I went to one just to see what they are like. The psychic was doing his thing and grinning from ear to ear. I assumed his merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a gullible public and gave him a poke in the nose. You can probably guess the rest.
I was arrested for striking a happy medium.
Business Class
I’d been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester.
“You’ll get $24,” said the clerk.
“This is insane,” I protested as I wrote out the check.
“I know,” replied the clerk sympathetically. “I’ve always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course.”
The Wisdom of Canines
1) The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous
2) Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers
3) If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers
4) There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams
5) A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings
6) We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made. -M. Acklam
7) Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. -Sigmund Freud
8) I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner
9) A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -Robert Benchley
10) Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. -Dave Barry
11) Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin P. Jones
12) If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise. -Unknown
13) My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein
14) Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler
15) Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein
16) Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. -Groucho Marx
17) Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman. -Dave Miliman
18) If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -Mark Twain
19) Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras
20) If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. -Phil Pastoret
21) My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am. — an OleHoss
That You May
Be Healed
TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results”
(James 5:16, NLT)
TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
Relationships are so important in the eyes of God. As His children, He desires that we live in unity and stay connected with one another. When we are transparent and pray for each other, something supernatural takes place. We open the door for God to pour out His abundant blessing and healing in our lives. When we walk in love and unity, our prayers become more effective, and His power is released through us.
Living in peace and unity doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone around you all the time. It means you look for common ground. It means you reach out to others; you pray for them and help meet their needs. When we put the needs of others first, God will make sure our own needs are abundantly supplied. When we live with a servant’s heart toward others, it opens the door for God’s complete healing — physically, spiritually and emotionally.
A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father in heaven, thank You for revealing Your truth to my heart. I choose Your ways above my own and ask that You open opportunities for me to pray for others and open the door for Your healing power. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
— Joel & Victoria Osteen
Today is the 60th annual National Day of Prayer, traditionally held on the first Thursday in May.
It almost didn’t happen this year. An eleventh-hour ruling by the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals found only last month that this observance is indeed constitutional
We are pleased with the court’s decision, and we support the sentiments of an invitation to all Americans to participate in common reflection and thanksgiving. And this year, the opportunity to collectively bow our heads in gratitude as well as humility and reverence seems an especially appropriate reaction to the recent death of terrorist Osama bin Laden in Pakistan.
This country needs guidance, mercy and protection. It struggles against great challenges: military conflicts abroad, economic recession at home, and mistrust and suspicion among partisan interests.
May the National Day of Prayer bring Americans a renewed sense of purpose and confidence, not only in our leaders, but in our promise as a nation. May it bring us the courage to judge each other with mercy and fairness, both at home and abroad. And may it bring us comfort from the tragedies of natural disaster and economic devastation. We also hope that the very act of the National Day of Prayer might bring the nation blessings as well. A moment in which people join together as a nation, setting aside disagreements and differences in order to come together to pray for the best interests of our nation, is sorely needed.
We hope it will bring the nation perspective, peace and, as President Abraham Lincoln hoped, the ability to move forward with “malice toward none, with charity toward all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right.” The reminder that all depend upon the mercy of one another, as well as on the mercy of God, is a welcome one.
Make us worthy, Lord, to serve our fellow men throughout the world who live and die in poverty and hunger. Give them through our hands this day their daily bread, and by our understanding | love, give peace and joy.
Mother Teresa
Thanks Diver and ALL my FRiends who I know are praying for me this morning.
I give Him my thanks always.
Because it will one day be Shouting Time in Heaven.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZIIQEc4Pqs&feature=related
Prayers going up for you, Gail..May the nerve block woork..I know it will take some time.
One morning, when I was a young child, I was sitting in the kitchen, watching my mother prepare breakfast. Unexpectedly, the grease in the skillet in which she was frying bacon caught fire. Flames shot into the air and my mother ran to the pantry for a bag of flour to throw on the blaze.
“Help!” I shouted. And then I added, “Oh, I wish it was time to pray!” “It’s time to pray” must have been a frequent household expression, and I took it quite literally to mean we could pray only at certain times.
The time to pray, of course, is any time—especially when we’re in crisis. Fear, worry, anxiety, and care are the most common occasions for prayer. It is when we are desolate, forsaken, and stripped of every human resource that we naturally resort to prayer. We cry out with the words of David, “Help me, O Lord!” (Ps. 70:1).
John Cassian, a 5th-century Christian, wrote of this verse: “This is the terrified cry of someone who sees the snares of the enemy, the cry of someone besieged day and night and exclaiming that he cannot escape unless his Protector comes to the rescue.”
May this be our simple prayer in every crisis and all day long: “Help, Lord!”
Read: Psalm 70
Thanks for our beautiful lesson from God’s Word, Rus.
It’s ALWAYS time to pray...”And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” Eph. 6:18
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I'm mad! I can't go!!!!
Oh well...I can't swim.
Weinie
Have a great trip. LS!
Lovely graphic and poetry, Meg. I too, am praying for yorkie’s friend, Mary. May she be Blessed very soon by our Father in Heaven.
Lonestar, Weinie says you’re going on a wonderful trip. Hoping you have a bundle of fun and I know you will. We will watch over Weinie!!
I have a doctor’s appointment and don’t know if or when I’ll be on the thread today!
Wishing everyone a wonderful day!
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Lovely (yet sad) poem, Meg.
I am thankful for prayers from FRiends this morning.
Tell Lonestar to have a GREAT trip, Weinie!
I will be leaving soon, for a day of errands, so y’all enjoy the ‘celebration’, and I’ll catch up later!
Love it....LOL! Great play on words!
That is my kind of mayonaise. Will use no other!
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