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Posted on 03/31/2011 9:31:17 PM PDT by JustAmy
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My insurance will take care of most of it, I’m hoping!
One of Fergie’s daughters had about the worst hat! Its hilarious in a way that they will put certain things on their heads. Of course, Fergie was not invited, just her daughters and their father of course. Poor Fergie, she was never good enough for them. She was sort of a “wild child.” LOL!
Oh my goodness..Already had the brush picked up! I am impressed with your good fortune..Sympathies to the neighbor..LOL
Ooops, I meant to tell you that the flower is gorgeous. Is that a curly orchid??? Such pretty colors!
We MUST get over into May!
It’s a Rhododendron
Good!
A. S. A. P.
Always Say A Prayer!
There’s work to do, deadlines to meet.
You have no time to spare.
But as you hurry and scurry...
Always Say A Prayer.
In the midst of family chaos,
Quality time is rare.
Do your best; let God do the rest.
Always Say A Prayer.
It may seem like your worries
Are more than you can bear.
Slow down and take a breather...
Always Say A Prayer.
God knows how stressful life can be,
And He wants to ease your cares.
He’ll respond to all your needs...
Always Say A Prayer.
Today I’m saying a little prayer
That God will send a smile to you
And send you special blessings
Through everything you do.
~ Lisa Engelhardt ~
Bible Sales 101
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon , he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles, but he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly.
But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louis, the Minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles.
He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, ‘Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last Week?’
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, ‘Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here’s the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.’
‘Fine job, Jack!’ The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. ‘You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you.’
Turning to Paul, ‘And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the Church last week?’
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, ‘I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here’s $280 I collected.’
The minister responded, ‘That’s absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you.’
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, ‘And Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?’
Louie silently offered the Minister a large envelope... The minister opened it and counted the contents. ‘What is this?’ The minister exclaimed. ‘Louie, there’s $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?’
Louie just nodded. ‘That’s impossible!’ both Jack and Paul said in unison. ‘We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could.’
‘Yes, this does seem unlikely,’ said the minister who didn’t want to offend Louie.
Please, tell us how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.’
Louie shrugged. ‘I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don’t kn-kn-know f -f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,’
he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. ‘For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you
said to them when they answered the door!’
‘A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said WA-WA-was,’ Louis replied, ‘W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you
l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks
-—o-o-o-or-— wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here
and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??’
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light!
TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.
10.... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory..
26... Ham and eggs...A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
A WOMAN OF STRENGTH
A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape...but a woman
of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...
A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything...but a woman of strength shows
courage in the midst of her fear...
A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her...but a woman of
strength gives the best of her to everyone...
A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...but a
woman of strength realizes life’s mistakes can also be God’s blessings and
capitalizes on them....
A strong woman walks sure footedly... but a woman of strength knows God
will catch her when she falls...
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face...but a woman of
strength wears grace...
A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey... but
a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will
become strong...
“Science Quotes from Kids “
~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
~ Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
~ Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
~ Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
~ Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
~ The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.
~ Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
~ Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.
~ The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.
~ The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
~ A permanent set of teeth consist of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
~ The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
~ A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
~ Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
~ Liter: A nest of young puppies.
~ Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
~ Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
~ Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.
~ Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
~ Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.
~ Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
~ To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
~ For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.
~ For dog bite put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
~ For head cold use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
~ To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
Alright thanks
Thanks everso much Ladies & Gent, for Your Thoughtful & sweet
B-Day pics/present... ations/ pings...
and/or behind the scenes surprises!!!!
Messeges/cards etc...
Each know of what You did to make my B-Day extra happy.
This year :)
Sorry so late in typing my Thank You’s.
HUGS
Sorry I’m not up
on my html code anymore so not ready to post those in my replies.
Haven’t had to use it in sooooo long.
Being off the www for lengthy stretches of time, does that,lol!
:)
Whoa! Totally groovy,that Kaleidoscope,thingy!
:)
No way can I catch up on prior pings while I was away,again...most recent www vacay lasted 15 mos.
I didn’t expect You to keep me pinged but thanks for doing so anyway.
T’was a nice sight to see upon my return. :)
Thanks bunches,for everything,every ping,everybody!!
God Bless you Always!
HUGS back atcha Dear KM!
That is soooo adorabibble!(adorable)
TY :)
& fom me a word picture:
The cutest kitten on Earth
is rrrriiiight, here!
See it? :)
(Not ready to re-learn html code,lol!
Hope word pics will do.)
: )
No body hungry?
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