Posted on 01/26/2011 2:41:47 PM PST by Da_Shrimp
Feeling reflective, as recently some friends I thought would last forever have separated and divorced.
It seems so common these days, when people have different agendas; but perhaps all they need to do is listen to each other, remember what they once were like together and work at it a little. And it's really not ardous work, just remembering the little things, day by day, like flowers and being thoughtful.
Pfft, rambling, but this song really brought it home to me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aGcocZgjkg
Who's next?
Always the ones the ones that you least expect
They seem so strong
It turned out she wanted more all along
And each time I hear who's to part
I examine my heart
See how it stands
Wonder if it's still in safe hands
Who's fled?
Who's fled?
Who's been caught out in somebody's bed?
I should have guessed
That day that his phone wouldn't take your text
He was a charmer
I wish him bad karma
Oh, I know we shouldn't take sides
But that one was his fault
This one is her fault
No one gets off without paying the ride
And oh, the divorces!
And oh, oh, oh,br /> The honeymoon, the wedding ring
Oh, oh oh
The afternoon handovers by the swings
Oh yes, oh yes
Your song seemed to look through a different lens
You're still so young
Loving's just as easy as it's begun
Now there's kids to tend
The legal bills
And custody
And oh, the divorces!
And this one is different
And each one of course is
And always the same
Oh, the divorces!
Who's next?
Who's next?
Odd that you would post this as I too have noticed the divorces of many friends and acquaintances lately.
Sad...
I’ve heard from people who took up with somebody else, kicked their spouse to the curb, then a short while later remark that they just traded one set of problems for another set of problems.
Not all marriages are meant to last. Hell, if I’d shot my when I first wated to, I’d have been out by now. I’m not a cynic on marriage, but I’ve come to believe the definition of a wedding ring is nothing more that a viscious circle......... and yes, it allways gets darkest, just before the lights go totally out.
Of course divorce is understandable if there's abuse of any kind, but it seems to me that quite a lot of separations are just, well, from just ot understanding each other, if that makes sense?
Oh and the link should be: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aGcocZgjkg2
Yes, I know really. Just a surprise when it's certain people you thought would last
“Marry in haste, repent in leisure.”
Much of today’s divorce I blame on the lack of childhood socialization between the sexes. In the US, there is generally no place where children can politely interact in a chaperoned environment, without distractions to that interaction. And this has been the case for many years.
Parents assume that their children will interact with other children in school and church, but this isn’t the case. They have other things to do when in school and church.
And any other form of recreation for children, there is undoubtedly someone there who has something for the children to “do”, so that they do not interact with each other. Some people are incredibly pushy about this, to their own, and even other children. If you look behind the mask of a “soccer mom”, you will find a person who doesn’t just drive their children around, but generally drives them to the point of exhaustion.
And as children get older, this frenetic activity gets progressively worse, as well as their personal isolation. Beyond even elementary school, parents take an active role in keeping their children separated, because they *assume* that left together in a group, the children will immediately have sex, do drugs, and commit crimes.
The expectation pounded in to children is that they will have sex like porn stars, with a multitude of people, then somehow choose one they have the best sex with as their mate and have children.
On even momentary reflection, isn’t it *obvious* how wrong this is?
A simple test proves my point. If you ask a child who their “top 10” friends are, they might be able to name 5, and they might even be able to tell you what their friends last names are. But they will know little or nothing about their friends parents, homes, background, etc.
Often, the “South Park rule” applies. Your “friends” are just whoever is there at the school bus stop in the morning. They likely don’t even see these other children in school classes, or at recess, except every now and then.
And every year the lineup changes. And a different group in elementary, junior high school, and high school. In high school all classes have different children, so “friendship” means they sat with them in the same class, once. Never spoke.
And children are expected to find a mate they can be compatible with?
Like how?
Of course divorce is understandable if there’s abuse of any kind, but it seems to me that quite a lot of separations are just, well, from just ot understanding each other....
&&&
Or just being too lazy or selfish to keep working at it. When there are children involved, there is no excuse, unless, as you cite there is abuse. I would add addiction as a reasonable reason, as well.
It just amazes and saddens me to hear statements like: “We just don’t love each other anymore” or “We grew apart”.
The truth is it is not your love which sustains your marriage; it is your marriage that sustains your love.
Sad, divorced last year after 17 years of marriage. People are lazy (and some like ex- ms moleman) cheat.
Was married 26 years in Nov. 2010. Kids are grown and have their own lives. Four years ago, when the economy went bad, we went through some hard times. Husband got depressed. I begged him to get help, begged him to talk to me. The help consisted of Celexa and more and more beer.Four months ago, he informed me he didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I begged him to reconsider and he declined so I obliged him and moved out and filed for divorce in Oct. 2010. I’m just now starting to recover. I was heartbroken and devastated. I live in a one bedroom apartment with my Mother. I’m lonely and I want my life back but I know he doesn’t want that and I’m probably better off out of the situation. I’m scared of being alone the rest of my life.
Ours was one of the divorces that shocked everyone. People still don’t believe it when I tell them.
Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
YouTube plays: 106,208,835
Hope springs eternal.
LOL although Tracey has the better voice, Beyonce is more popular ;-)
But I'm all for hope.
I got divorced in 1977..............it was a 50-50 split.
She got 50% and her lawyer got 50%
Oh yes, they are. If people could only realise that you just need to expend that little bit of effort to keep it going and turn down the chance to cheat...
Oh, my goodness. I’m so sorry to hear that. Do you belong to a church?
Thank you. I hesitated to post on this thread. Sometimes divorce threads can be anti-woman. I didn’t ask for alimony. All I asked for was him to pay my health insurance premiums for 36 months since I will be kicked off his insurance and onto COBRA when the divorce is final. I had the amount he would pay capped at 400 a month.
I still love the man he used to be. The man he is now is not the man I married. I’m trying very hard not to live in the past or be bitter.
Thank you, trisham. Yes, I go to a good church every Sunday with my mother. She is very good to me.
I am starting college in April. I got married right out of high school and was a stay at home Mom from 1984-2002 when I took a job at a restaurant as a cashier. I still work at the same restaurant but my dream is to be able to take care of myself.
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