Was married 26 years in Nov. 2010. Kids are grown and have their own lives. Four years ago, when the economy went bad, we went through some hard times. Husband got depressed. I begged him to get help, begged him to talk to me. The help consisted of Celexa and more and more beer.Four months ago, he informed me he didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I begged him to reconsider and he declined so I obliged him and moved out and filed for divorce in Oct. 2010. I’m just now starting to recover. I was heartbroken and devastated. I live in a one bedroom apartment with my Mother. I’m lonely and I want my life back but I know he doesn’t want that and I’m probably better off out of the situation. I’m scared of being alone the rest of my life.
Ours was one of the divorces that shocked everyone. People still don’t believe it when I tell them.
Oh, my goodness. I’m so sorry to hear that. Do you belong to a church?
I’m very sorry you had to go through all that...
My best regards to you.
I was divorced after 27 years.
That was 23 years ago.
Worked out well for both of us.
Chin up !!!!!!!!!
I knew two ladies (in their 50’s/60’s) whose husbands left them for a sweet young thing. Both were devastated, but they went to work & gradually re-built their lives. After awhile, they realized they were happier. They had total control of their lives & money. And their exes ended up much worse off, not that they were happy (in a vengeful way) about it.
Yours is a different situation, but there is hope. Depression is a very difficult thing to deal with (I know, it’s one I’ve had problems with). Your husband may find relief & realize he still needs you. But if that doesn’t happen, life is still good & you will survive. Something I was amazed to discover myself!
MOMinTN, I’m sorry you’re going thru this. I was married 25 years before we got divorced. Your situation sounds eerily similar to mine. Depression, alcoholism; but we also had infidelity and internet porn thrown into the mix.
It DOES get better!! I’m about 3 years out. First year I allowed myself to mourn, wallow, and feel anger. Second year I slowly began rebuilding my life. Right now I am very happy and satisfied with my life. I am alone but far from lonely.
I can even be kind and civil to my ex during holiday celebrations now. It makes the situation much more happy and comfortable for my (mostly) grown kids and grandkids.
Best of luck to you. You’re still early in the process. Give yourself time to grieve and mourn. You need to do that in order to move on.
I empathize with you- My prayers to you in your situation I believe there is nothing stronger than prayer. All of my foreign wife’s friends 4/5 are now considering divorces as is she (so, foreign is not better and may be worse as the tug for home is stronger and home is farther). This economy has strained the financial ties that bind and when the pair is not equally yoked and moving in the same direction it is especially hard. You sound like a very good Christian woman and you must know Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: In my mind I have 2 scripts/stories waiting to be written to counter the current cultural “norming” of divorce or walking away as an easy fix. And at the same time I worry only about the effect of divorce on our children- and yet I know that for me the following applies- Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.
I believe that you are not alone and shall not live alone. Peace be with you...
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Watch as many videos of him as you can find (yes he does sell stuff but he gives a lot for free and he is unique.)
There’s a lot to it but it boils down to making them chase you, breaking the pattern by getting in shape and looking the best you can, and then carefully making your moves.