“Marry in haste, repent in leisure.”
Much of today’s divorce I blame on the lack of childhood socialization between the sexes. In the US, there is generally no place where children can politely interact in a chaperoned environment, without distractions to that interaction. And this has been the case for many years.
Parents assume that their children will interact with other children in school and church, but this isn’t the case. They have other things to do when in school and church.
And any other form of recreation for children, there is undoubtedly someone there who has something for the children to “do”, so that they do not interact with each other. Some people are incredibly pushy about this, to their own, and even other children. If you look behind the mask of a “soccer mom”, you will find a person who doesn’t just drive their children around, but generally drives them to the point of exhaustion.
And as children get older, this frenetic activity gets progressively worse, as well as their personal isolation. Beyond even elementary school, parents take an active role in keeping their children separated, because they *assume* that left together in a group, the children will immediately have sex, do drugs, and commit crimes.
The expectation pounded in to children is that they will have sex like porn stars, with a multitude of people, then somehow choose one they have the best sex with as their mate and have children.
On even momentary reflection, isn’t it *obvious* how wrong this is?
A simple test proves my point. If you ask a child who their “top 10” friends are, they might be able to name 5, and they might even be able to tell you what their friends last names are. But they will know little or nothing about their friends parents, homes, background, etc.
Often, the “South Park rule” applies. Your “friends” are just whoever is there at the school bus stop in the morning. They likely don’t even see these other children in school classes, or at recess, except every now and then.
And every year the lineup changes. And a different group in elementary, junior high school, and high school. In high school all classes have different children, so “friendship” means they sat with them in the same class, once. Never spoke.
And children are expected to find a mate they can be compatible with?
Like how?
Those are some interesting points about socialization. I know from personal experience that there are unique dynamics in small schools - particuarly private K-12 schools.
Often there are a number of students who have literally gone to school with each other for 12 years. Even if they aren’t friends, they recognize each other’s parents and siblings. When that happens, those boys and girls rarely become attracted to each other in high school. I attribute it to the excessive familiarity.
In any case, I’d say high school dating has little to do with mate selection. Most married couples I know met in college or through their employment.