Posted on 02/12/2010 5:11:44 AM PST by Lucky9teen
The ability to make and understand puns is considered to be the highest level of language development. Test your pun comprehension:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”, they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain , they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him … a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, Patriot Humor sent ten different puns to their subscribers, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
2
In early?
IBTP?
Top Ten!!
WooHoo!!!
A little fun to get your Friday Started.
And in this video you may just may find that something you were looking for to get your wife for Valentines Day.
I LIKE GUNS MUSIC VIDEO (You will Love This)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TC2xTCb_GU
For those of you blocked from Youtube - My Northwest also has it. Have to scroll down a little. This vedio is fantastic.
I Like Guns Music Video
http://www.mynorthwest.com/?nid=193
ping-a-ling
LOLOLOL!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Marmalade.
Marmalade who?
Marmalade too close to Papa, that’s why I’m here.
Since I feel like we are somewhat family I have to ask. Well I got a little suspicious when my girl decided to go out with some friend . When I asked her who she was going out with she told me it was some girls from the gym, and that I didn't know them. She said she was going to ride with a girl around the corner and was going to walk to her house . I found this a little strange as it's been kind of cold here. I decided to wait up for her to see who would drop her off. Around 3 am a car pulled up to the curb , so I ran into the garage and got behind my 4 wheeler so when she opened the garage door i could see what kind of car she got out of. As the door began to open up the light came on in the garage and I noticed a small puddle of oil under my wheeler. So my Question to you is should I take it into the shop or try to fix it myself. Thanks for your help.
I’m glad I’m at work today. My little girl was supposed to have her valentine’s party at school and she was very excited. When she wakes up and finds out school was cancelled by snow there’s a good chance everyone near by will suffer for it.
Yea!! My fav thread!
Archaeologists in Britain found part of an ancient door. It had a stone hinge on it.
I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.
*
He's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max.
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