"Probably a bit wrong somewhere."
Thanks, genius.
Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.
Posted on 02/11/2010 12:16:54 PM PST by HamiltonJay
I am looking to collect some dumb sayings for a project, so if can you please take a minute to send me the dumbest or silliest thing a superior or boss has said to you at work, (any job, not just here, and no don't name names).
Nothing that requires a backstory to it, just simple one or two sentence statements that you have been told over the years that in and of themselves have made you shake your head, stare at them in awe, spit your coke out your nose, or whatever.
Thanks
"Probably a bit wrong somewhere."
Thanks, genius.
I hope you made the scumbag "provide" a sum in the six figure range!
"Of course the pressure is different at different locations in the header". I just stared at him.
Of course, based on flow, header size etc, the pressure was identical at all points in the header. (Chemical engineering joke)
A manager in a Burger King DRIVE THRU asked me if my order was “to go?”
A boss once told me I had accumulated six weeks of vacation and comp time,but he said I couldnt take it. When I asked why he said “if I can do without you for six weeks, I can do without you”
File this under “things not to say to a vindictive woman who is also your boss.”
The scene:I’m standing there at the counter with boss lady and customer. Business is located in California.
Customer to boss lady: “Speak English, I can hardly understand your accent.”
(boss lady is La Raza type Mexican. Customer is obviously of Mexican extraction, has somewhat of an accent)
Boss lady: “I’m just trying to help.”
Customer: “What country are we in now? Speak English.”
Me: (Silently astonished and cheering on the customer)
Boss lady; (Pursed lips, stare that could kill directed at customer)
Customer leaves.
Boss lady: “I was just trying to help. After all, CA used to belong to Mexico. Look it up in the history books.”
Me to boss lady: “(Laughter) By that logic, Europe should be speaking Italian.”
Boss lady to me: (evil glare coupled with “I’ll get you later for that remark.)
just being helpful...
Had a phD electrical engineer plug a power strip into itself and then go on a rant at the IT guy because his computer wouldn’t work.
Hey, just wanted to let you know you're doing just great. But you might want to try dressing a little sexier at work.
I mean, we're talking your job here.
I can’t contribute, I have the best boss and job in the whole world.....I feel blessed.....
Pilot to Co-Pilot in a helo at 150kts and 100ft AGL: “Uh, I thought YOU were flying?”
We think that you are getting paid what you are worth. This after I found a ck stub from the guy I that I replaced. He made more than I did 10 years before I found the ck stub. I had the last laugh. Started my own business 6 months later. I’m still here there all gone. 15 yrs ago in April.
About a coworker, Linda, whose husband Louis was dying of cancer:
“I wish Louis would hurry up and die. Linda has been a drain on the department lately.”
P.S. - Linda had asked for time off, but this same boss denied her request, giving as the reason, “When my husband died, it was good for me to stay at work and keep busy!”
I complained that another employee was very loud on the phone (open office, no real cubicles) and constantly spit luggies in his trashcan my boss told me:
“Well, Joe has been here longer than you.”
Them: We can't process your expense report because you did not mail the receipts in our new green bordered expense envelopes.
Me: I don't have any green bordered envelopes, how do I get them?
Them: If you give me your account number we will put them on order to be shipped to you.
Me: I don't have any account number!
Them: Well, then we can't send them to you.
LOL.....you really need to post that on MLIA
On a work detail after arriving at Keesler A.F.B., the sergeant in charge said, “You five guys—half of you come with me!”
In order of dumbosity:
We had an exercise coming up. Exercises are scheduled so preparations can be made and personnel assignments can be aligned to ensure proper training and evaluation. Exercises begin and end on a schedule.
Boss: Don't leave the area this weekend just in case there are exercise inputs.
Wife still hasn't forgiven him.
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