~~~~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~~~~

icanhascheezburger ^ | me

[Lucky9teen]

National Day
A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says 'Hey bartender give me a beer'.
The bartender says - 'I'm sorry we don't serve food here'.


Are hamburgers male? Yes, because they re boygers, not girlgers!

Can a hamburger marry a hot dog? Only if they have a very frank relationship!

Can you name two burgers who are royalty? Sir Loin and Burger King!

How do gossipy hamburgers spend their time? They chew the fat.

How do we know hamburgers have high IQ s? They loin fast!

How do you insult a hamburger patty? Call it a meatball!

How do you make a cheeseburger sad? Make it with blue cheese!

How do you make a hamburger smile? Pickle it gently!

How far do burgers go in school? Through cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).

Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your fingers? No, you should eat your fingers separately!

Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula? Sure, order a burger and a shake!

What did the hamburger say when it pleaded not guilty ? I’ve been flamed!

What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who acted on a TV show? Welcome back, Cutter!

What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster? Cook-a-doodle-do!

What did they say about the burger who went skiing for the first time? How the meaty have fallen!

What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army? You’ve got no beef, soldier!

What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins? They think they are in a pickle.

What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well, it’s back to the old grind!

When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button? When somebody says, Well done !

Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues? They get to meet their old flames!

Why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed? They saw the salad dressing!

>

[mylife]

Opps.. they dont show physiological thrillers on TV!

[mylife]

I have Cheesy dreams when I do that

[paulycy]

We must protect the cheese

Better hurry!

[BenLurkin]

That’s the one!

That’s the one that bit my sister!

[Monkey Face]

LOL!

I like either one, actually!!

[paulycy]

Wow! But no pictures. :0(

[sunny48]

What is all that?

[mylife]

I figured much L0L but the first one rarely has a plot L0L

[sunny48]

Don’t give her any ideas.

[sunny48]

Update on Cinderella
Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with t he now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.

Cinderella said, ‘Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all theses years?’

The fairy godmother replied, ‘Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration , shuttered her first wish:

‘The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I’m living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said, ‘Ooh, thank you Fairy Godmother”

The fairy godmother replied, ‘It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?’

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, ‘I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.’

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inseide her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: ‘You have one more wish; what shall it be?’

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, “I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.” Magically, Bob suddenly underwent a fundamental change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said, ‘Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.’

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes.

Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

[paulycy]

What is all that?

Sweet nonsense.

[Nateman]

[paulycy]

Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Can't be. I wasn't there. ;0)

[r-q-tek86]

[ErnBatavia]

That’s known as the Jacko Burger.

[r-q-tek86]

Grammer Kitteth

[ErnBatavia]

We went for Double Doubles last Friday, and would do it again if we hadn't whupped up a big pork roast last night.

Without a doubt the best fast food burger in the universe....

[E Rocc]

Hmmm....is a past action about to be regretted? :)

[sunny48]

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
‘ Mommy ,’ the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’
‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the mother replied.
‘It’s not polite.’
‘OK’, the little girl says,
‘How much do you weigh?’
‘Now really,’ the mother says,
‘those are personal questions and are really none of your business.’
Undaunted, the little girl asks, ‘Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?’
‘That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!’
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
‘ My Mom won’t tell me anything about her,’ the little girl says to her friend.
‘Well,’ says the friend,
‘all you need to do is look at her driver’s license.
It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.’
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, ‘I know how old you are.
You are 32.’
The mother is surprised and asks,
‘How did you find that out?
‘I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.’
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
‘How in Heaven’s name did you find that out?’
‘And,’ the little girl says triumphantly,
- ‘I know why you and daddy got a divorce..’
‘Oh really?’ the mother asks. ‘Why?’

‘Because you got an F in sex.’

[Penn_Cajun]

My wife’s family is in Vegas, and we’ve gone to In-N-Out several times. After our trip this August, we said we’d never go again. They just aren’t that good. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!