Posted on 06/18/2009 9:30:34 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
Dear Fellow FReepers, moral clarity needed.
My stepson just graduated from college and has moved back home.
Twice now I have woken up to find them both sleeping in his bed.
I don't like it, but my wife doesn't have a huge problem with it, since they have been dating almost a year. However, she says she will back me up on it.
Am I being reasonable? I am planning on nipping it in the bud tonight, but just wanted to run it by my fellow FReepers.
Thank you.
Chalk up one more vote in the “It’s your house, your rules. If he wants to shack up, let him get his own place” column.
I feel strongly that people should not allow unmarried romantic couples to share bedrooms in their houses. Go with your gut and tell your grandson that his girlfriend is welcome to stay the night...in the guest room. That would be your small, but real, contribution to upholding traditional values.
If it makes you uncomfortable I say you tell him no.
By the way, my 26 year old is my son and her stepson - the 6 year old is ours. But there is no issue about her setting the rules for “my” son. I bought the house before we were married, but it is HER home and she has every right to set the rules for guests. We are in complete agreement.
I wouldn't either. If he wants to sleep with his chick he can do it in his own apartment.......
What happened to “A Mans Home is His Castle”? Your Home, your rule stands no matter what his age. And Kids no matter what age should learn to respect those rules no matter how old they are.
You are being quite reasonable.
That they have been ‘dating’ for a long period of time means virtually nothing; it certainly is a good idea to have a good solid relationship before getting into the lifelong commitment of marriage... but, what many in today’s society fail to realize is that the sanctity-of-marriage (sexual intercourse, for one) is a good and even practical notion.
From the purely physical standpoint, when you engage in sexual intercourse you ‘inherit’ your sexual partner’s sexual history. This is why the 100+ partner limit is refereed to as the “kiss of death” (more common in the homosexual community, which is itself riskier) where you are pretty much certain to have an STD. Also, this can be evidenced in the STD cases where there is an intermediary who does not get the symptoms but becomes a carrier.
Now for the spiritual standpoint. People are, of course, WEIRD in that they have a spirit; though there is some thought that the physical world is a reflection/shadow of the spiritual, much like a sphere will cast a circular shadow on a wall. The circle is round, but the sphere is “rounder” and has depth that the circle does not. Now, if this is the case then we ought to be concerned about our unseen spirits because they have dimensions not found in the physical world. If God, a spirit, says that sex outside of marriage is not good, then it probably isn’t... and as we see in the physical world reflections of that assertion in STDs then there is quite probably also a spiritual component that we are not as aware of coming into play.
Failure to Launch should always come with the aging naked butt of Terry Bradshaw warning. Something I never wanted to see in this lifetime and still shudder at the thought of it.
You should knock first.
A bunch of dysfunctional enablers! Who’d have thunk it?
Great answer. I have also made those same points to my wife.
well, you don’t have to insult the guys family, imho. he just asked for advice.
>>By some of the responses here, I wonder if I’m even on a conservative forum.<<
I was quite shocked about that myself.
But then again, this is the forum where I caught poo for stating that babies of 14 year old unwed mothers should be put up for adoption.
Yea if it was my house, unless you are married forget it. This is why we are in a morals decay
Hey, guys - wasn’t the sexual revolution great? Before then, women were the sole arbiters of who would pair with them to build a home and create the next generation. They carefully considered, under the serious counsel of family and friends, who they would allow to bed them. No more.
Today, they are dragged home to the guy’s parent’s house like some cheap piece of meat. For us guys, it’s free p*ssy. Don’t you just love it? (Ladies, think about it - you’ve been had.)
That's how most people do it. Works pretty slick in my opinion.
You have a choice!
The problem is that it is not ‘his’ son.
The boy’s mother has already set the rules.
The stepdad has a right to make his case but it’s a bit late to enforce the new rule.
JMO
Say no. Probably no better motivation to get him to get a job and move out on his own!
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